Diary Of Awkward Black Trans Guy

Confession 7 (BIG TW:ED)

I think I am losing empathy for mentally ill people. Today, my favourite musician has been cyber bullied. She used to have an ED and in recovery. She says she is fine, but receiving heavy backlash will mess you up. She was on pro Ana or Mia Twitter(X is what they called it🤓) forms. I haven't seen them but in my past experiences of those girlie, they make hate them more. So I commented they are the devil in disguised or reborn. Someone tried to tell me to not demonized them.

Most of these girls bully normal civilians into ED, suicides, and fat shamed others. I am so sick and tired of those people. I have to block some too many on my timeline because it personally pains me to see those stuff. The suckiest thing is that I could also be a victim.

Seeing those pro Ana stuff on my tumblr in 2018-2019. Thank god I didn't follow thru those intrusive thought and let my parents(even tho they were caring) get to me. I think subconsciously wanted to do it, but my body was rejecting me.

I know it comes from self-hatred and seeing chubby girls living their lives. Diet culture is a hell scape. I wish nothing but the worst and the best for them. I know they are acting out because they don't believe they deserve love or not received from family. So they hurt themselves and others to feel better and not stop soon because being pretty and evil is a girl's dream. Pretty girls don't hate on others. Just straight-up romanticized them because without it, they will feel or be nothing.

I wish all the best in their journey, as much I hate to admit it. I know they'll look back and feel guilty for what they have done.