Confession 10

10 0 0

by fortess

by fortess

It's happening again. The voices, I hear a child who sounded like me, but she's six years old. She always wanted marshmallows, but I ate pizza. The girl in my head asked if mom was awake because she was so excited. She was asleep. We ate pizza together, then suddenly, everyone came back. The male voice named Derreck, Melissa, and the six-year-old were talking. Derreck said that you need to accept us. Then the voices came back, not their voices. The weird ones that scared me, they sound disjointed. I start watching videos about schizophrenia and psychosis. I know it's the worst website, but it made me feel better. Then I start seeing things too fast, I thought someone was in the house but i knew no one was there. It was mum open bedroom with the lights off. Then I see a little hat man's head, he looks like Mr. X from resident evil.

All because I was simply scrolling thru TikTok about diaries and saw an age regression. It felt like I was slipping into a six-year-old baby who wanted breakfast milk, toys and a teether. Honestly i enjoy it but this time, it felt like someone was there. Then i got muscle spasm or tics in my brains. It felt like slipping out of reality and someone was there. It was Melissa. I know it's some symptom of a psychosis or delusion. Unfortunately, I don't know so my next bet is to telling my therapist this Tuesday. I am pretty terrified.

I know it's due to my delusion that I believe I have DID or OSDD. I remember being hyper fixated on this disorder so hard, I develop symptoms. Luckily, i snapped out of in 2020 from my mom. But here in 2021, 2022 and 2023; this delusion comes every 1 month, 5-9 months. Then it goes away when i restrict content of this rare disorder. I mean i still do watch but it doesn't affect me. But sometimes i hear a little soft male voice snickered, saying lol same. I am telling myself it's not real, so good. Except my mum takes away my phone. Not gonna lie, i have a phone addiction . So i only have this. Also the pizza is a heartburn so you gonna thug it out and now puke. Gonna sleep or stay up gn.