Goddesses, Rishikas and Women

Saraswati: The Goddess of Knowledge

I wonder why I never concentrate on the pooja whenever I am in a group. I love to sit in front of my deities alone in a dark room and let my thoughts and words wander. I know they hear my inner thoughts as well as the words that project out of my mouth. It feels as if I am home with them only when I am the only one in a room.

It's the same even today. Today is Basant Panchami. Dadi, my brother, and I are doing the pooja today. Dad is in another city, and mummy has her periods, so she did not join for the aarti today. She had specifically asked me to keep a few pens and my RD Sharma Maths book near Saraswati Maa's murti.

Funny how I call Devi Lakshmi my sakhi and Devi Saraswati Maa. When I was a child of five years, I used to watch this animated movie called Omkara on TV. Shivji and Parvati Devi had taken abode in the holy city of Kashi with Ganesha, Karthikeya, Lakshmi, and Saraswati as their children. My mother would always tell me to be like Saraswati - affectionate, kind, wise, and full of simplicity.

Years flew by, and for a while, my connection with the deities dwindled, even with my dearest god, Krishna. But don't they say that the goddess of Knowledge sits on Vishnu's tongue? Won't the same goddess guide the one who has strayed away from its path?

I stare at the small murti of the goddess. It takes me back to my examination days. I always carried an examination board that had a photo of Devi Saraswati. She always looked so elegant and benevolent. I usually performed well in subjects like English, Hindi, Social Studies, and Biology with her photo on my exam board, so I considered her my lucky charm during exam days.

The Saraswati murti looks beautiful. I stare at the veena in her hands and the large pink lotus on which she sits. For the first time, I get a tingly feeling running down my spine - the feeling that arises each time I am about to meet a goddess in person. Dadi is probably chanting Saraswati chalisa, and my brother, as usual, is randomly mouthing the words and staring at the sweets.

Warmth engulfs my body, and I hear rain falling outside on the balcony. My eyes close on their own accord, and for the first time, I am given a divine vision.

The goddess is seated near a riverbed that is brimming with fresh brightly coloured green grasses and a few wild flowers. The river looks clean, completely transparent. It sparkles a little under the sun. Her fingers skillfully run on the strings of the Veena, producing the most beautiful tune I have ever heard in my life. Her eyes are closed, but I know she sees me. She knows that I am watching her.

After what feels like an eternity, she stops playing her instrument and opens her eyes. She smiles and gently calls her swan from the river. I turn back and see a large but majestic swan emerge from the crystal clear river with a string of pearls on its beak. The swan turns its head at me and nods. I gawk at the beautiful bird, which causes the goddess to giggle. She composes herself and pats the swan's head. "It's a beautiful bird, isn't it?"

"The most exquisite-looking swan, Devi," I say as the swan gently lands the pearls near my feet. Frowning in confusion, I look at the goddess and ask, "Why did it give the pearls to me? They are yours."

"What do the pearls signify, my child?"

"Wisdom, purity, innocence, serenity, and protection, Maa."

Devi smiles. I see her face shine like the full moon. "Very good. That's true. Now let me tell you something." Her lovely fingers pick a delicate pearl. "Pearls are very difficult to find. They lie deeper and hidden in dark waters. Only the ones brave enough to embrace the darkness of the ocean can find them. You have to delve deep and have patience to look for them. There will be many obstacles on your way. You might feel tiredness seeping into your bones. Sometimes you will see your companions getting these shiny pearls quickly while you barely find a shell on the water bed. You must remember that to get the best, sometimes you have to wait for long and keep persevering. One day, your hard work will pay off, and these pearls will be yours. Now, pearls also represent wisdom, don't they?"

I nod my head eagerly. She continues, "The quest for diamonds teaches you lessons of immense hard work and the sight to never consider any piece of coal or a stone to be ordinary. The journey to seek pearls gives you lessons of patience and the strength to take bold decisions to get the best of your life with grace, kindness, and knowledge."

Her swan nuzzles on my thigh, and I feel my legs stiffen, which causes the goddess to chuckle. "Don't worry, my swan won't bite you. The worst it can do is drench you in river water to indulge in some mischief."

I nervously laugh and touch the swan's head with my index finger. My eyes then travel upwards to gaze at Maa's face. Her face softens with a knowing look. "You have a question, don't you?"

"There are nights when I hear a song far away from my house. It makes me wonder who I am. There's a lake near my house. Each time I peer at my reflection, I see a woman decked in red and dazzling jewels. For a man, she would be sensuality personified, but to me, she appears divine. She has a sharp gaze that would make tongues stutter to make any remark at her. Then, the red clothes and gold jewels disappear. She then appears dressed in white with pearls and flowers around her wrists and legs. She looks lovely but in a different way. She radiates pure love. She looks at everyone with the eyes of a charmed lover, speaks words that would boggle the mind and make you question everything you have ever known. Later, she smiles, knowing only a choice few would understand her language and her words. After a while, their faces morph into my reflection, and I have never found myself looking that divinely charming even in the mirror. Should I know who these women are? Are they me or will I grow up to be them?"

The goddess closes her eyes once again. Her form starts expanding to the skies. Golden effluence effuses from her being while her fingers start to play the veena once again. She answers.

"You are them, yes, my child. You will grow up to be them. But remember, don't consider them to be separate from each other or from you. Red is for passion, energy, and love. Men in your time will confuse this form as lust. You must build yourself in such a way that no man with a narrow vision can hurl abuse at your divine form. Many are going to speak against you, even for the way you carry yourself and move. You, my child, are going to rise above them. I shall not speak much about your appearance in red. You will have another goddess tell you more, a goddess who is often misinterpreted and shunned today. Let me tell you about the woman in white."

Maa plays a beautiful set of chords that make me feel as if I am floating in the air among twinkling stars. It feels blissful. Is this what sat-chit-ananda feels like?

A melodious laughter from Maa fills my ears. "Now, that's something for you to find out. I will not reveal everything to you. But for now, let me tell you about the second woman."

"She has the gaze and a heart of a lover. She will fall in love with everything life will give her, be it thorns or roses. Books are her companions. She is going to be a wonderful being of light, love, kindness, and wisdom. She wears white to represent the holy and divine knowledge she has learned in her life and other lifetimes to come. The pearls on her body stand for the important lessons on patience, beauty, virtue, and serenity. She is a very mysterious woman. Some say she has the most complex thoughts about life, while a rare mind gets through her way of flowery words and poetry to understand one simple Truth - this Truth is again your quest to realise and understand. You cannot tie her to relationships and desires in the mortal sense. She will love you dearly, do everything that is best for you, but do not expect her to write ballads and love songs for you. Her love songs and poems speak about a different Lover. Who is that Lover is another question whose answer you must find yourself. She will be your guiding force in life and until you transform into her. As I said, you, we, them are all One."

Tears flow out of my eyes. Perhaps, I did find my answer to my questions. Maybe, I will grow and transform myself in the best way possible and help others in the same. Just like Maa said, we all are One, we all can help, learn, and grow together.

"Jhia lo prasad ta ne kana emiti thakurani ku dekhuchu." (Daughter, have the prasad. Why are you staring at the goddess like that?)"

________ *** _______