You fill my lungs and take away the air [Global Examination]

Chapter 7: You're the pulse in my veins

154 stared blankly at his reflection in the mirror, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

After the worst sleep of his entire existence (and that was saying a lot, considering he had spent three years stuck in an endless slumber, trapped in the back-up station, treading the fine line between existence and non-existence, not knowing what was really going on, not knowing if he'd even wake up-), 154 had been hoping that everything that he had just learnt the day prior was just the product of some kind of fever dream...

... Only for him to wake up, intending to check his messages to see if there was any work to be done, just to be stunned at the sight of flowers and petals strewn around his pillow; he must have been coughing them up in his sleep.

At least there was no blood; that would be an utter pain the clean up.

154 had quickly swept them into the dustbin.

Stupid 922, why do you have to be so likeable-

A tickle at the back of his throat snapped 154 out of his thoughts, and he coughed into the sink, feeling his heart and chest throb at the mere thought of his friend.

Fuck, why was he blaming 922 for this?

This wasn't 922's fault in the slightest. It was simply in 922's nature to be nice to everyone; how could kindness be a fault?

154 was the one who had stepped out of line. He should have known better than to fall for 922... if he was even capable of loving in the first place; he was a program, he shouldn't be capable of getting Hanahaki, shouldn't be able to love-

154 bit his tongue, forcing himself to calm down, trying to get all of his thoughts in order.

Fuck all these emotions, this storm that was building in his chest, making him feel like exploding.

For the first time since he had fled from the back-up station, he understood why the System had cut him out and thrown him away like an invasive tumor; he couldn't think like this, couldn't figure out what was going on, or what he should do-

154 splashed some more water on his face, and closed his eyes.

How he felt about 922 was irrelevant.

922 was a real person, he deserved to be free, to live his life the way he desired, instead of being trapped in this hellhole of a System.

154 was a program, and he lived and died with the System; his nature made him inherently incompatible with anyone.

154 could only live if 922 suffered, and 922 could only live if 154 died.

It was as simple as that.

This was the reality of this situation.

154 choked as another flower forced its way up his throat.

There was no way that 154 would be able to get out of this situation unscathed; in the worst case scenario, the System would notice what he was and would tear him apart, and the best scenario was somehow taking out the System, freeing everyone from its constraints and this faux reality... and dying alongside the System that also sustained his very existence.

154 tightened his grasp onto the edge of the sink, hearing the blood roaring in his ears, feeling his heart pounding, thundering inside his chest like it wanted to shatter his ribcage to pieces... and he coughed up yet another flower.

It didn't matter if 154 wouldn't be able to be in 922's life, but as long as he was happy, and free from the shackles of the System...

That was fine.