You fill my lungs and take away the air [Global Examination]

Chapter 9: To escape is to be empty

One month, 154 decided, having woken up in the middle of the night by the familiar, phantom tickle at the back of his throat that signaled the approach of something unwanted, giving him more than enough time to rush to the bathroom and decorate the toilet with a flourish of blossoms tainted by the deep red of his insides.

The minimum amount of time he had left before his Hanahaki was likely to consume him.

154 choked on the blood on his mouth. He didn't have to look in a mirror to know that there was likely blood dripping down his chin, staining his shirt.

Blood stains were always a pain to get out.

At least it wasn't on his bedsheets, 922 would throw a fucking fit if he ever came over-

At the mere thought of 922, 154 heaved out flower after fucking flower, hunching over the sink, his knuckles turning white to match the porcelain.

Fuck. He really did have it bad, didn't he?

Why did he have to fall for 922!?

At this point, there really was no use pretending that he wasn't in love, that he was somehow capable of it despite his entire being screaming at him that it shouldn't be possible; 154 wouldn't be dying from Hanahaki if it wasn't the case.

But 154 isn't made for love.

Acquaintances, maybe; he was pretty sure that most of the invigilators that worked with him didn't like him.

Friends? 154 had no friends to speak of besides from 001 and 922.

But love?

154 may be able to expression and feel emotions, but he failed to understand, to make sense of even the least perplexing of them. Emotions were both a blessing and curse, a complex paradox, an enigma that only humans could possess, and that made them perfect.

He may look human, but at his core, 154 wasn't human.

And yet, here he was, dying from love.

154 spat out one last purple flower as the pain in his chest subsided slightly.

It didn't matter.

922 was a kind-hearted clutz with a smile that 154 could never look away from, not even when it blinded him, and he deserved the best in life, deserved to live his life unhindered by his problems.

154 wasn't good enough, would never be good enough for 922, who was always unreasonably nice to him, 154, a program, a mistake of a mistake, something that shouldn't even exist in the first place.

Just like the sun itself, bringing light and warmth to an otherwise barren and empty planet that would never have thrived if not for the star's nurturing embrace, 922 was the only person who could plant those seeds of love in the cold, unfeeling husk within 154, an unnatural, pale imitation of a heart, and somehow make them grow and thrive.

And that was why 154 had to play it safe, had to make as much progress as possible, try to gain as much power and authority as possible, and cut the Hanahaki out of his own body.

154 may be a program that ruined everything he touched, but he'll make sure that no one else was affected by his inability to control his heart, especially not 922.

And that meant surviving.

With You Huo out of the picture, Chu Yue stuck at who knew where, and Qin Jiu constantly looking like he had lost a part of himself (or more like the System brutally ripped it out of him), 154 was the best chance they had; retaining information from the past, potentially bypassing the System directly to acquire knowledge and resources...