Hostage to Love

Valhalla

"Loki... Loki... Open your eyes...my son." The warm, gentle fingers smoothed the hair from his eyes.  For a moment, he was confused.  Why was Ari calling him her son?  She had been away, attending to some dignitary or other from Nilfheim.  He'd gone to lie down, having been training hard with his daggers all morning.  The recent skirmishes reminded him that it was a skill he couldn't afford to lose.

Then, almost as if in a dream, he realised who was speaking. Sitting up, he looked into the eyes he'd longed to see for so long. No words, he could find no words.  After so long, there was nothing and everything to say. 

"Hello Loki," she smiled at him softly, "I'm so proud of you." Frigga leaned over and kissed his cheek as he sat open-mouthed, in tears.

"Mother? How? Why?" He grasped her hands, half expecting them to be ethereal wisps of nothing.  They were solid and warm and every bit as familiar as his own.

"You know I was raised by witches Loki. We all have our little secrets.  Mine is that I knew I could come back, just once.  I wanted to make sure that when I did, you would understand why." she smiled, and taking one hand back, she stroked the hair away from his forehead again as she had a million times over his childhood.

"Understand? I dont follow Mother..."

"You would understand about a love so strong you would die for it. And now, you do." she smiled softly and nodded  "you would die for Ari as I died for your father." Now he was confused all over again.

"But you died protecting Jane? How was..."

"Because if I had not given Jane the chance to escape, they would have destroyed Asgard - and everyone in it. And that would have destroyed Odin. It was always my destiny, even when Thor thought he could change it. I wouldn't change a thing."

She looked sad, "I wish I could have more time.  To see Thor and Ari and your baby, but..."

"My baby?  How...." he looked at her in surprise. "She only told me two nights ago on Midgard, and we haven't told anyone!"

"You still don't really understand, do you?  I may be out of sight, but I still see and hear more than you think I do." she laughed, and it reminded Loki of summer rain, delicate and refreshing. "But not EVERYTHING you'll be glad to know!" Now Loki laughed and flushed, dots of pink in his cheeks. 

"Thank the Gods for that, or we might never have any more children!" 

"Now," she stood, "Hug me again, my son. It's time I left to collect your father." she laid a hand on his arm.  "It's his time.  It's Thor's time to rule, and it's your time to be everything I knew you always could be.  You will make a fine husband and father, and remember, we will always be there. You just need to talk to us."

"Oh mother, please stay... just a little longer? Ari will be back soon, and I'd love you to...." he reached out to hug her, and as he did so, she faded away into nothing.  All that was left was the feeling of her lips on his cheek, her voice echoing in his head.

"I love you, Loki. I always will.  You make us BOTH so proud." 

When Ari came back, she found Loki sitting pale and quiet. He'd been crying. She could see it in his face. She knew.

"Frigga? She's come for Odin, hasn't she?" She sat next to him and held his hand, lifting it to her lips. He said nothing, his eyes convening everything. He didn't even question how she knew. Somehow, he didn't need to. "My darling, I am so sorry for your loss, but take comfort knowing he is with her. Happy again, safe in her arms."  Now he spoke.

"She knows about us; and about the baby." He smiled a watery, emotional smile. Ari kissed him softly. "I just wish we had..."

"So does Odin," she interrupted him with a smile. "And I didn't tell him before you ask."

"I know, love, I know." Loki stood, "we need to go to Asgard. Be with Thor and Jane. They need..."

"Us. I know. It seems we have both, in our own way, been prepared for this moment." Ari stood and Loki followed, placing a hand on her belly. He kissed her deeply.  "I love you." She said quietly, her voice hoarse with emotion. "I will love you and our child till my dying day."

Loki smiled and said nothing. His heart was too full.

If he had known how close those two events would come in contact with each other, he might not have stayed silent.

They arrived on Asgard to hear the bells tolling slowly. Odin had gone. Heimdal greeted them with a sombre bow and The Warriors and Sif waited with their horses.

"We are sorry for your loss Loki" Sif stepped forward and bowed her head.  Then, looking up at Ari, a single tear slipped down her cheek.  Odin was the only King any of them had ever known.  They felt almost as bereft as losing their own parent.

Ari stepped forward and hugged her tightly. "And I am sorry for yours. All of you." She turned and held out her hand to Loki.  "Come, we must go to your brother... The King."

For the first time in his life, Loki felt no jealousy, no animosity, only a sense of loss. Of his father, of his mother. But strangely, also peace. As if everything was falling into place.

They rode back across the rainbow coloured bridge, slowly, respectfully. This was not the time for racing and jests. Even Fandral was subdued. In a rare show of deference to Loki, he didn't flirt with Ari, didn't make any ribbald comments, and even bowed properly to both as he took his leave.

Volstagg and Hogen said farewell quietly and left. They would all reunite at the funeral. Only Sif remained, she walked with them to Thor's apartments.

"He has taken it badly. Odin passed in front of him, he feels he should have tried to make him stay." She said sadly. "Try to find the words Loki.  I cannot ."

She turned and walked away, head down.  Ari turned to Loki and smiled a quiet confident smile.  "You know what to say, dont you my love?"

He nodded. "Yes, a very wise woman once told me I was perceptive a out everyone but myself.  Now, thanks to her - and you - my love, I know I can help him." He kissed her cheek.

"I'm going to our apartments, I need to lie down for a while. I'll leave you to it.  Fetch me if you need me." She smiled and walked away. Loki knew in that moment he would never love anyone as much.

If only he had told her that every time he thought it.