REGRET🏎️[2]

5:00

AMELIA

i wipe my tears, still not knowing whom is behind me, hoping i disappear from existence.

Heavy breathing,the sound of a man,one who I recognise merely.

Arthur..

Arthur smith is standing there, looking down at me with his beautiful eyes, flowers in his right hand; the other reaching down towards me.

"Arthur.." i say my voice steadying its self.my body shaking and my heart beat getting faster once again.

"Amelia, oh my god. are you okay?" words pour from his mouth as he crouches down at my ignorance. He sits there, the long eye contact speaking for itself. My posture straightens as i sit back onto the damp grass.

silence passes through us, the wind howling as it hushes through us. His eyes on me, not going anywhere else, unlike mine which looked everywhere but at him.

no words could leave my mouth but a sob did as i sat there, curled up hiding in the layers of myself, hoping he would disappear. I did not want another person witnessing this; one was enough.

"it's okay, you don't have to talk." Arthur's words linger between us as he huddles beside me, providing me comfort...comfort which was new too me, he didn't even know me,he did. Everyone knew me; at least that's what they all think.

"they know me" three words empty my mouth as i lift my head, connecting my eyes with his. "you don't." i say almost a whisper to his mouth. "why are you being so kind?" the question slips out,  parting my lips as i speak, the confusion overbearing me as a sweet smile crosses his face, his eyes lighting up as the question sinks in, his whole body softening as he begins to speak:

"Because i want to be that person. The person you can run to when your in trouble, the person whom you trust with your whole heart, the person who will listen to you talk even if i do not know of what you talk, the person who you know loves you, the person who you know will understand, no matter the situation. I want to be the person that people feel safe around, because i never had that."

the words seemed so sincere, so caring coming from his mouth. Someone had hurt him in the past,the way he spoke showed how deeply his soul meant it.

the way every word was spoken with meaning.

Arthur looks passed me, his eyes shifting between me and the tall piece of old rock behind me. His eyes deepening into his thoughts, the blank emotion on his face shifting as i met his vision. I could feel the wet mascara around my eyes as a tear rolls down my cheek.

"it's okay, I'm okay" I say wiping the tear off my face, forcing a light smile.

Arthur reaches past me, grabbing the letter that i once held. He looks for something specific, his eyes widening when he reaches what he was looking for. His mouth struggling to pronounce the words which edged the bottom of the paper.

"mamytė aš negalėjau atsisveikinti,ir už tai niekada sau neatleisiu.visada ir amžinai.-tavo mergaitė" He point to the fragile words,one's which I'm glad many don't understand,his jaw proceeding to move:

"what does it mean Amelia?" The question feels unreal, like a stab to the heart. Our eyes leaving the paper,which he was once pointing at,now i lay lost in his as an aching feeling works its way up to my throat. I shake my head trying to avoid the thoughts pouring from every corner.

"it-it means..."i stutter struggling to answer the simple question. Arthur's hand reaches mine, as he clings his fingers into mine. His hand warm and soothing. His touch making me forget everything that was wrong.