The Metamorphosis

Chapter 1

Manila, Las Filipinas (1800)

I long for a world where individuality is celebrated, where acceptance knows no bounds. But until that day comes, I am left to navigate this sea of judgment, forever yearning for the freedom to be truly myself.

"Isabel, how long are you going to look at that dress?" my mother asked, her curiosity piqued by my prolonged fixation on the garment. Caught off guard, I quickly responded, "Sí, mamá?" attempting to conceal my genuine fascination and avoid arousing any suspicion. Deep down, though, I couldn't help but acknowledge my profound admiration for the dress, which ignited a thrilling excitement within me.

"Why don't you try wearing it, Isabel?" My heart leapt with joy as my mother spoke those words. It was a moment I had been eagerly anticipating, and when she finally uttered them, a surge of happiness washed over me. With an exuberant smile plastered on my face, I eagerly reached out and snatched the dress, feeling a rush of excitement emanating from within me. As I slipped the dress on, it seemed to mold perfectly to my body, as if it had been tailor-made just for me. The soft, sandy hue of the fabric was incredibly appealing to me, exuding a sense of elegance and grace. The butterfly oversized sleeves added a touch of whimsy to the ensemble, while the delicate scarf delicately draped around my neck added a touch of femininity and sophistication.

"Your grandmother passed it down to me when I was young. She said it was the most beautiful Filipiñana dress that she had ever been made."

"This dress is hermosa! Gracias, mamá," I couldn't thank my mother enough for gifting me such a precious heirloom. The moment I heard about this dress, I was taken aback by surprise. I had never known my grandmother to be an exceptional seamstress. It was as if a hidden talent had been unveiled, revealing a whole new side to her. Yet, amidst the joy and admiration, an unrelenting heaviness weighed upon my heart.

"Why are you suddenly becoming sad?"

"Mamá, I can't help but fear that I wasn't born a woman."

"Oh, my dear Isabel, just take a moment to admire yourself! Your face is so beautiful, and your body is wonderfully feminine. It's undeniable that you truly embody the essence of a woman."

"But mamá, having a beautiful face and body is a cruel twist of fate for me."

"In everything you do, I just wanted to let you know how incredibly proud I am of the person you have become. Always remember to stay true to yourself, my dear Isabel, because that's what makes you so amazing. I hope you know that I love you more than words can ever express."

"Gracias mamá." There is a constant, haunting fear that resides deep within me, consuming my very essence, for the person I have become. In the midst of overwhelming emotions, my mother gracefully approaches me, her presence radiating warmth and comfort. As she draws nearer, her arms outstretched, I can feel the gentle embrace of her hug enveloping me. While my mother is hugging me tightly, I suddenly become aware of a distinct sound - a single footstep drawing nearer.

"Buenas señora Amalia, mi amiga Isabel."

"Mi amiga Maria," as my dear friend Maria joyfully visits us, a wide and contagious smile instantly lights up my face.

"Como estas Maria?"

"I'm good, señora Amalia. Mi amiga Isabel, you looked absolutely stunning in that dress!"

"Gracias amiga."

"Fortunately, we're not stuck outside. I'm absolutely certain that a lot of señor will be captivated by your charm, amiga."

"It's a trap, amiga." I teased.

"You mean, a beautiful trap."

"Enough with the teasing, Isabel. Go change now; we're going to church."

"Sí, mamá."

"Are you going to church as well, Maria?"

"Sí, señora."

"Then, let's head to church together."

As I prepare to head to the church, I carefully select my attire. I slip into a pristine white blouse fitted with fluppy sleeves, complementing the blouse with a long skirt intricately designed with flowers in each corner. Turning my attention to my hair, I reach for a fine-tooth comb. I decide to style my hair into a sophisticated low bun. "I'm ready, mamá." As we step out of the house, my amiga Maria glances at me with a radiant smile. With every step, we walk with grace and elegance. As we make our way through the streets, we notice that we are not the only ones heading towards the church. We spot some familiar faces dressed in their Sunday best. While we are engrossed in walking through the street, our attention is abruptly captured by the arrival of a horse-drawn carriage.

"Hola!"

"Hola, amigo Antonio," I replied warmly.

"I kindly request that all of you ride in this calesa," Antonio said, gesturing towards the carriage nearby.

"What about you, Antonio?" Maria asked, with a curious expression.

"I will walk, mi señorita Maria, as it pains me, as a man, to witness any weariness upon your lovely countenance caused by walking. Your comfort and happiness are of utmost importance to me," Antonio replied with a gentle smile.

"Gracias, Antonio," A soft smile graced Antonio's lips as he gently took Maria's hand in his. "It is always my pleasure, mi señorita," he replied. Then, Maria gracefully sat in the carriage beside me. In the depths of her gaze, I could see a reflection of the admiration she held for Antonio's character.

"What a consistent man," I teased.

"Stop it, Isabel," she said, her voice trembling with a mixture of shyness and flattery.

After a ten-minute journey, we caught sight of the church. As we proceeded, the church gradually came into full view and the bell rang, a sign that the mass would start. Positioned at the two corners of the church were Guardia Civil officers, and at the entrance stood a sacristan, aiding the visitors. Ever since the Spanish brought Christianity to this area, it has become customary for everyone to regularly participate in church activities. This duty to attend church has become deeply ingrained in our lives, a tradition that we faithfully follow as it is considered an obligation we must meet.

"Kindly proceed to your designated areas, with women to the right and men to the left," the sacristan courteously instructed as men and women were being separated within the premises of the church. This separation extended even to families, as they were required to split up. Once inside, the mass started. As the mass drew to a close, the sacristan prepared to collect some money, as, according to the teaching of Padre, it is giving back the blessing. "Do not hesitate to give, because a selfish man will be thrown in hell. The more amount you offer, the more blessing you will receive," Padre Pablo reminded. After the conclusion of the church service, the people started to go outside. As we were about to step outside, I spotted my friend Antonio patiently standing amidst the bustling crowd. A joyful expression adorned his face upon catching sight of us.

"Hola ladies!"

"I'm glad that you made it to attend the church, Antonio," Maria replied.

"I have called a calesa. May I have the honor of accompanying you? It would bring me immense joy to be of service, mi señorita Maria."

Maria, appreciating Antonio's gesture, gladly accepted his offer. With a nod and gentle "Sí, Antonio."