Waste and Want

Chapter 9

Severus leaned against the crib, watching Simon as he slept. The pacifier was half-way out of his mouth and Severus could see his eyes moving underneath his lids. What could a baby possibly dream about? Severus reached down and brushed back the fine black hairs dotting his head. If his eyes were open, they would be blue. A bright blue. Agatha was convinced they would eventually darken to brown. “Mr Anthony had brown eyes,” she said. “And your eyes are so dark they look almost black! Almost all babies are born with blue eyes. Trust me, by the time he turns two, they’ll be brown.”

Mims, however, was insistent. “Simon’s eyes are too light!” She said. “If they were going to turn, they’d be darker. They’re staying blue.”

Without looking away from his son, Severus reached over toward the table next to the crib and picked up an antique porcelain doll that had belonged to Mr Quentin’s mother. Severus sent it hurtling down to the ground, smashing it to pieces. The sound of it breaking was loud enough that it sent Mr Quentin hobbling up the stairs from the parlor. “Everything alright?” He asked, out of breath and wheezing, which sent him into another coughing fit.

“Fine. Just bumped into the table,” Severus said and flicked his wand at the doll. The scattered pieces flew towards each other, reforming, and Severus set the now-unbroken doll back in its place of honor.

Mr Quentin was still coughing. “Go lie down before you fall down,” Severus said, waving him off. “I brewed you a cough potion. It’s on the stand by your bed.”

Mr Quentin nodded and, still coughing, stumbled toward his bedroom. Severus turned back to Simon, hoping to see his blue eyes, looking wide and scared at the frightening noises, but they remained closed. He hadn’t so much as stirred.

Severus felt his heart drop.

He had never seen a deaf student at Hogwarts, or a blind student, or a student with any noticeable disability, unless one counted Lupin. A blind student, in a castle where the staircase moved and with rooms that sometimes disappeared and reappeared at random? It’d be a nightmare. And Hogwarts relied so much on spoken incantations, not bothering to teach nonverbal magic until sixth year. He didn’t even know if he wanted Simon to study at Hogwarts, let alone if they would permit him there. Severus had never once received a helping hand from the staff; could he really expect them to properly accommodate his son? And what if he had to face bullies similar to Potter and Black? There were plenty of times when the only thing that saved Severus from another hexing was hearing Black’s barking voice as he took aim when his back was turned. Even when casting nonverbally, most wands were not completely silent upon releasing the spell. Those precious seconds it afforded would give Severus enough time to cast a shield at the very least. Simon wouldn’t even have that.

His son’s vulnerability stirred up deep-seated fears within Severus. He knew exactly how unforgiving and cruel this world could be; the thought that even now, when he had finally secured their financial stability, his son would still have to struggle was untenable to Severus. Not only that, but to struggle in ways Severus had no experience or knowledge in. Poverty, abuse, these things he knew and could navigate around. How would he be able to help Simon with this? He needed books. He needed to do research. Maybe there was a cure, and if there wasn’t he could damn well invent one and in the meantime he was going to ensure that Simon became a master at nonverbal magic.

He took Simon to St Mungo’s the following morning to confirm his suspicions, checking in on Mr Quentin before he left. Severus knocked on his bedroom door, and then knocked again when there was no answer. He cracked open the door and peeked inside, surprised to find him still asleep. He was usually already dressed and finishing his breakfast, ready to head to the shop by this time of morning. Mr Quentin was not lying fully on his back, but was propped up with pillows. There was a deep, rattling sound in his chest with every inhale and exhale of his lungs. Severus frowned and shut the door, making a mental note to brew more cough potion when he got back.