Philophobia - Narry

Chapter One.

He wakes up at the sound of the alarm clock. He gets up yawning, then he goes to the bathroom. He throws water at his face and then stares at his reflection in the mirror. Looking at those blue eyes staring right back at him 'another shit day, just try to survive'  he tells himself. Then he takes a quick shower and grabs something to eat before he leaves the house. He gets in his car and drives as the radio is playing Lego House by Ed Sheeran. He laughs bitterly as he turns it off. He doesn't really like love songs, well, actually he doesn't like love itself.

Finally he arrives to his destiny. He parks in front of a big building. He gets off of the car and starts walking towards the building. Once he is inside he goes upstairs, no taking the lift, because there's always a lot of people in there and he doesn't really like to interact with other people. He stops in front of a door the says 'Mrs. Reagan. Psychologist and psychiatrist'. He puts one of his hands on the door handle but he stops when he hears voices behind the door, then silence, and then he feels the door handle move under his hand, the door opens and his eyes meet a big green orbs staring back at him. He looks at the boy in front of him, he's some inches taller than him but no much really, but he looks younger than he, maybe just one year or too.

"Sorry" he says and steps aside from the door letting the boy make his way to the lift and he just stares at him until a voice wakes him up from his toughts. 

"Niall, you can come in" the voice says. And Niall enters the room. She's sitting as usual on her chair, legs crossed, with a little notebook and a pen on her hands, staring at him, smiling. "Sit down, please" she says gesturing to the sofa in front of her for Niall to sit there, and Niall does so. "Tell me, how are you feeling today?" she asks.

"Apart from being suicidal, I'm fine" Niall shrugs and she gives him a worried look "It was a joke, I'm fine"

"Well, some progress or something you want to tell me?" she asks.

"Not really"

"Have you been hanging out with your friends and going out as I told you?"

"They've come to my house once or twice, but that's all"

"Niall, you need to interact with people, have a social life, meet new people…"

"No" he cuts her off "The only thing I need is being alone so nobody can hurt me and the only reason I come here every week is because if I don't do it my mother won't pay me the rent, so don't tell me what I need to do" he sounds angry, and he really is, because he's tired of all the people telling him what to do because they don't understand him, they don't even try to understand him and his feelings.

"Okay, I'm sorry Niall, calm down, okay? Why don't we talk about your mother? I talked to her a few days ago and she is very worry about you"

"She doesn't have to worry about anything, I'm fucking fine, okay? I just don't want anyone else in my life and she keeps making me go to dates with people I don't know and I don't want to know"

"But, as far as I know, you never attend to those dates, do you?" 

"No, I don't"

After what it seemed like forever, but were actually one hour, Niall leaves the building and gets in the car and drives back his house. During the ride he can't stop thinking. Thinking when this all started. He's always been a normal boy hanging out with people even flirting with some of them, but it all changed like four years ago, when he was fifteen, when he discovered he was actually attracted to boys and not girls. His father has caught him and one of his friends kissing, then his father hit him, very hard, and told him things a father should never say to his son. In his high school everyone find out about what happened and about Niall's sexuality, and he got bullied every single day, and the boy he had kissed just ignored him and pretended Niall didn't exist. After that Niall went to live back with his mother, and he tried to be in some relationships but eventually he just broke up with them or left without saying anything, telling himself that if he continued with the relationship it would end at some point and the one who would be hurt would be him, he couldn't believe someone would really love him, so he assumed this was never going to happen. And he had being avoiding people.