Everything I Need, But Can't Have

Chapter 4

As my classmate, Clemensia, and I walk to Dr. Gaul's office, I'm nervous to see if she likes my proposal. Clemensia is clueless to the whole plan, the target for this project. All she wants is to be richer than she already is. She doesn't understand how much I need the prize. It is life or death for me. When Amelia said that I'd never survive in the Districts, she was right. I'm not built for that. I am built for success in the Capitol, luxury living. Not being treated like dirt, having hoodlums all around me. No, this can't be the case.

The morning of, I had dropped off the proposal for my idea to her front office. As we arrive to the office of Dr. Gaul, we walk into the hall of the interesting animal corpses in her room. They're encased, and they are of many specimen. 

"I see you two are interesting in my many pets," Dr. Gaul says. "Come, let's talk of your proposal." We walk over to her, and we walk up a small platform with a sphere like staircase with iridescent snakes in a large case. Clemensia and I stare as we walk up. 

"I have some slightly unfortunate news for you both. My assistant thought the paper was trash, so she threw it into this case. Which one of you students wrote the letter?"

"I wro-" I started when Clemensia said," I wrote it, Miss. I stayed up all night writing it."

"Clemensia-" I said with betrayal in my voice. Not only did we not come up with this idea together, she is taking credit for everything. I can't believe this. This lying, cheating, bratty little snake. 

"Well, since you wrote it, retrieve the letter for me. Won't you? Very impressive writing, young lady." Dr. Gaul declares.

Clemensia reaches out for the snakes. She quivers as her hand reaches slowly into the tank, she shakes and shakes and shakes. She has an intense look of fear in her eyes. Her head is pulled back and you could see one drop on sweat from her face. As she reaches in, a snake springs at her. She cries at the top and her lungs and she jumps around, trying to get it off. She looks absolutely insane, then she falls of the top of the platform. All you hear was a loud thud in the ground. Then, Peacemakers take her away, limp body, soulless. 

"Is she still alive?" I question.

"Unfortunately, no. Her family will be notified of her sudden diagnosis of the... flu." Dr. Gaul answers. 

No, she shouldn't have died. She was so young. She didn't know her life would end with one lie, and it shouldn't have. In the midst of this tragedy, I have to keep my head straight, my goals number one. 

"Mr. Snow, your proposal was very good. I will bring it up with the game makers, see if they agree with me, and we will go on. You and your tribute will visit the arena later today. Go talk to her, see how she's doing. Make her popular, loved by the people. We need more eyes watching, and if your plan is approved, it will do just that." Dr. Gaul says, and it brings joy to me. This is my way to earn my way to glory.

As I get into the train to the cage of tributes, I think of what will happen if I get the Plinth prize. After that, what will I do? My family has always thought of me as future president of Panem. 'Coriolanus Snow; future President of Panem; glorious leader'. I could see myself, in front go a big crowd of people, shouting my name, my family behind me. 

"Coriolanus!" Amelia screams from inside the cage. She runs up to the bars, hands clenching for something, anything, of hope. Everyone needs hope in these times of fear. 

"Amelia, how are you?" I ask. I take some leftover food from my pocket, wrapped in a napkin.

"Here, some food for you. I assume you haven't eaten since the Reaping." I said, offering her the food in the napkin.

She splits in into fourths, looks around, and takes one of the fourths. She scarfs down her fourth like she hasn't eaten in a very, very long time.

"I'm going to give it to other tributes, nobody has brought us food or water." Amelia explained.

"Later today, you will be going to the Arena with me, us and everyone else will check out the Arena. I will try to give you as much help as I can." I said

As I say that, I look over to see my wonderful classmate, Arachne Crane, toying with her tributes. She has a glass of water, and is putting it in the tributes face, but not close enough for reach. The tribute she has is one that threatened to kill me in the bus on the way to the cage.

"Amelia, I will do everything I can to help you win. With everything you have done, every charm you have, many people are betting on you to win. They want you to win." I said, and Amelia's eyes shine. I'm not sure if it's out of fear, or admiration for the people who believe in her. 

Then, a horrid scream comes from my right. Arachne is on the ground. You see the tribute with a sharp part of the glass of water she had. I assume she dropped it and the tribute got it. Then, the tribute pushes it into Arachne, in a brutal way. I couldn't look. I had to look away. Then, I thought of how afraid she might be. I run up and I hold Arachne in my arms. We weren't very close, more competitors, but she didn't deserve this. "It's going to be okay, Arachne. You'll be okay. Don't worry." She groans lowly, and then you could see the life leaving her eyes. Wide open. Blank stare. No more color, no more energy. Nothing. She's gone. 

As I travel, to the Arena, I feel so empty. Arachne was a competitor of mine, and I wasn't fond of her, but she had a long life to live. She had many accomplishments to live. It isn't fair. First Clemensia, now Arachne. I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe, the Plinth prize isn't worth it. All these live lost, who know how many more will be lost. In our lives, we worry of the fear of one's reputation. The fear of not being wanting. We desire for people to like us, to fit into a certain society. But all this wanting, we miss those who are worthy. Worthy of actually being loved and worth being in your life. We miss the things we need because of our greed for things we may not get. 

As I arrive to the arena, I find Amelia immediately. She is shaking. She is scared. Terrified. This is where she might lose her life. And if she lives, she loses her humanity. 

She walks quickly to me. As we walk in, we hear the voice greeting us. She grasps my hand. We search around, some sort of hope in this dull arena. I let go of her hand and I examine the terrain of the stadium. There is no place to hide what so ever. Nothing. No sort of shelter. 

Then, as I am walking to Amelia Gray, you hear a giant crash. Rubble is everywhere as I know it, then I look up, the structure is falling down. Me and Amelia run as fast as we can. Then, a piece of rubble falls on me. They burn my back, and injure me severely. Then, I hear Amelia calling out for help. Help for who? Me? It can't. She could run, escape, but she chose to help me? Then, I feel the structure getting lighter and lighter. She's lifting it up. As I look up at her, she is being taken away by guards. 'Thank you' I mouth. Then, everything goes black.