Caring wings

safe surroundings

I was sitting on a bench in the living room of the hotel. My eyes were glued on my laptop while I was trying to ignore all the people and the noise around me by listening to music with my headphones.

But my brain wasn't following me. It was difficult to understand lessons when you were not attending the classes so I had to do it all by myself.

The more the time was passing, the more I started to feel the stress invading me. I was still blocked on maths exos, so I was losing time, but I had plenty of other work to do and I was scared I wouldn't be able to do everything. A vicious circle.

At some point, when things were not getting better, I felt tears rising in my eyes. Tears of anger. And tiredness. I was exhausted. Mostly because of this frenetic pace.

I never had time to relax. I always had something to do, when it was not for Eurovision, it was for school.

I was actually jealous of the other contestants who didn't have to care about something else than the contest and who could hang out or go out in the city when they had free time.

I threw my pen away in anger and put my head between my hands. My breath was becoming irregular as tears were filling my eyes.

"It pisses me off" I mumbled to myself.

I tried to take some deep breaths to calm me down while my hands were covering my face like I wanted to refresh my brain.

Suddenly I heard someone coming close to me before I took my hands out of my face and opened my eyes.
I saw someone standing next to my table. I raised my head to look at the person.
Bojan was standing there, in the corner of my table, watching me with concern.

"Hi, you're good ?"

Why does it have to be always him ?

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate him but somehow he manages to appear everytime I'm not feeling the best.

"Hum yeah yeah" I answered quickly but he didn't seem to believe one bit of it.

"You're sure ?" He insisted.

"Yeah it's just... those damn homework" I gestured over my laptop while sighing before sinking even more on the bench.

"Come on let's go outside a bit" he said before holding out his hand to me.

"But I can't let my stuff here-"

"Jan will check on it don't worry" he interrupted me before I could tell anything and gestured over Jan who was sitting on a couch further.

He dragged me out at the entrance of the hotel. We continued walking to a little park nearby and sat on a bench.

There was not a lot of people which was enjoyable, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to free myself. It was nice to take a bit of fresh air.

At first, none of us were speaking. I was actually waiting for him to speak first, because I had nothing to say, or rather I didn't know where to start. The silence was becoming unbearable for me, like a tension. What was he thinking about ? What was he thinking of me ? And why the hell are we sitting outside like two strangers on a date for the first time?

"How are you feeling these days ?" He finally asked.

"Why are you asking me that ?" His question confused me.

"Don't ask questions, answer them" He retorqued

"Good, I mean, normal." I tried to seem believable.

"Don't lie". Well I guess I wasn't believable enough.