Caring wings

VIII : argument

I just dropped at the venue that Seb was waiting for me at the entrance.

He didn't even say hi and just said "Finally you're here" even if I was perfectly on time.

He grabbed me by the arm and took me in the room where I would practice.

My vocal coach Sandra was already there. Fortunately, she was really nice, but that didn't change the fact I was tired of all those training sessions, even though I know it's for the best.

Maybe people were right, maybe I'm not good enough for this, maybe I'm not mentally strong enough for this.

Sandra noticed that I wasn't enchanted to do this practice and told me "I'll talk to him at the end if you want" I nodded in agreement.

The practice went as usual but I struggled more this time because of the stress of the upcoming concert.

I got out of the room with my eyes filled with tears, but I don't even know why. My emotions were so mixed up : stress, anger, tiredness, relief...

I headed straight to the soundcheck where I knew Seb would wait for me.

"Come on, we don't have a lot of time" he told me. Always rushing people once again.

He then left me alone with the technical staff.

***

I was now alone in my lodge, chilling on my phone before having to get ready for the concert. I wanted my mind to think about everything but the concert.

I was distracted by someone knocking on the door, when I saw it was Seb who didn't wait for an answer before entering the room. I immediately stood up from the couch I was sitting on. He suddenly grabbed my arm.

"So you think that I'm overworking you ? Tell me if you think I'm like a monster of whatever " he looked annoyed by the situation.

"No I didn't say that-" I tried to answer, completely pulled back by how he came to me.

"I'm doing this for you. And to not disappoint all the people who chose you"

"I know" I answered ashamed. He reminded me even more that I couldn't fail. That I could not let down people who chose the poor little girl I am.

"I know all of this is tiring you, but you have to keep going until it's over. Me and everyone else are supporting you, but don't expect to not have practice sessions anymore." He marked a pause. "And you should start getting ready instead of scrolling on your phone. You can't behave like a normal teenager right now in those conditions"

He left the room leaving me alone. I was still processing what happened. I looked at the arm he let go off. His grip wasn't brutal but he squeezed my arm for so long that a red mark remained on it. I'll have to cover it with makeup before the performance if it doesn't leave before.

I could feel the tears coming again. Gosh when will I stop to cry ? I knew I was sensitive but still. Seb's words were still echoing in my mind, telling me I had to work hard to not disappoint the country.

I escaped the lodge and headed to the bathroom. I needed fresh water on my face to put my mind in order.

I rushed headlong in the corridor so nobody would see that I was crying when I bumped into someone. I didn't look up to who it was and only mumbled a "Sorry".

I locked myself in a cabin and leaned back on the wall before sitting on the floor. Thank God it wasn't too dirty.

I stared into space for quite a long time, my head buried into my knees, to calm myself.