Destroying Relationships With Something You Can't Control

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Iwaizumi called his mom while he sat in his boxers next to oikawa on the bed.

"Hey Hajime! Is everything okay?"

"Yeah mom everything's fine I was just wondering if I could stay at Oikawas tonight"

"...Will you be okay?"

"Yes mom I'll ask for help if I need it this time. He's here for me."

"..okay. Please call me if it gets to be too much. I'll have my ringer on."

"Thank you mom, I love you"

"I love you too hun, stay safe please"

"I will"

He hung up on his mom and looked at the smiling boy sitting beside him.

"You're so cute"

Oikawas face turned red at the compliment and Iwaizumi grabbed his hand, wrapping both of his slightly bigger ones around it.

"I love you Hajime"

"I love you more Tooru"

Iwaizumi grabbed the controller from the bedside table and began to play video games. Oikawa laid on his stomach between Iwaizumis legs, resting his head on his lap. Iwaizumi smiled and looked down at the drowsy boy, pushing his hair to the side to see more of his face. Distracted, he died in his video game.

"Fuck!"

Oikawa giggled.

"Are you laughing you little shit?"

"No!"

"Yes you are!"

"I'm not!"

Oikawa continued to giggle and was flicked on the forehead by Iwaizumi.

"Oww!!!"

"Oh stop I didn't even do anything to you"

Oikawas arms wrapped around iwaizumis muscular thigh. Iwaizumi put the controller down and ran his fingers through oikawas hair, caressing his soft face. Oikawa let out small, soft, sighs of comfort and relief. He then shoved his hand down the back of oikawas hoodie, rubbing his back in small circles. He started drifting off to sleep, comforted by the warm hands of his lover. Once he fell asleep iwaizumi went back to playing his game. Sure, some thoughts ran through his head, but Oikawa was there. He would never disturb him for something as selfish as that. He died again.

"Goddamn it!"

Oikawa groaned.

"Sorry baby" Iwaizumi smiled.

Oikawa groggily climbed into Iwaizumis lap, nudging his way into Iwaizumis neck. Iwaizumi turned on some random tv show and wrapped his arms around Oikawa.

"I love you"

"I love you too Haji"

Oikawa fell asleep again and Iwaizumi placed him beside himself underneath the covers. He lied beside him and thought.

He's so stressed out. I wish I could take all that away from him. I could. I could kill myself that would get rid of the root of the problem. I'm the cause of all his problems.

He looked over at the sleeping boy and began to cry. He was scared of his own thoughts but he didn't want to wake him up. So he sat there beside him with the guilt of his own thoughts. His sobs became more loud and he winced as he let them out.

"Hajime?"

He continued to cry, his body turned away from Oikawa. He felt his boyfriends warm hands snake around his waist and pull him closer.