"Hajime?!"
Iwaizumi collapsed onto the floor and began searching the cabinets desperately.
"YOU HURT HIM. HE CANT WALK. YOU DESERVE TO DIE. YOU NEED TO CUT YOURSELF NOW. RIGHT NOW. YOU CANNOT LEAVE THIS ROOM UNTIL YOU CUT YOURSELF. YOURE WORTH NOTHING. KILL YOURSELF. KILL YOURSELF. KILL YOURSELF. KILL YOURSELF." The voice filled his head. He found a razor blade. It was old but it would work. Anything would take the pain away.
Oikawa banged on the door."Hajime please honey what's wrong?!"
"You don't understand"
"Baby please put whatever you have on your hand down."
Iwaizumi dropped the blade on the ground and laid on the floor.
"Thank you. Talk to me. What's bothering you?"
"I feel like I hurt you."
"Baby I hurt myself it isn't your fault"
"But I didn't stop you." He picked the blade back up.
"It wasn't your job to stop me"
Iwaizumi held the blade up to his throat. Ready to cave in and end it all.
"Keep talking to me Hajime."
"Why should I" his hand shook.
"Because I need to hear your voice."
"You don't NEED to hear anything"
"Yes I do Hajime please."
Oikawa opened the door he picked to unlock and pinned iwaizumi to the ground.
"Let go of me Tooru!"
"I'm not just going to let you kill yourself in my house! Drop the blade!"
Iwaizumi dropped it and tried to grab at his throat. He began to cry.
"Tooru please let me go"
"Hajime you promised! You promised you wouldn't leave me here alone!"
Tears ran down oikawas face and he got off of iwaizumi, grabbing the blade. He hid it somewhere iwaizumi didn't know about and came back to the bathroom. He collapsed on the floor.
"I can't lose you Hajime."
He stayed silent. There was nothing that came to mind that could make the situation better. He grabbed oikawas arm and pulled him onto his lap. Oikawa sobbed, hyperventilating.
"I'm sorry Tooru."
"I feel like I'm doing something wrong iwa!"
"You're not doing anything wrong. I'm just fucked up."
"I should've never told you my legs hurt!"
"But I want to know when you're hurting."
"Well you're not allowed to know if you're just going to blame it on yourself!"
Oikawa grabbed at iwaizumis hoodie and held it tight. Iwaizumi held him tighter.
"Tooru how can I help."
"I just need you to talk to me instead of running away"
"I will. I promise. I will."
"Please."
"Tooru I will."
"Don't lie to me."
"I'm not lying."
Iwaizumi grabbed oikawas hand and intertwined their fingers. He squeezed his hand and let go, picking Oikawa up and laying on the couch with him. Oikawa laid on his stomach on top of iwaizumi, face pressed against his chest. He heard the heartbeat he almost lost. Again. He wrapped his arms around iwaizumis stomach. Iwaizumi laid on his back and played with oikawas hair, trying to calm him down. Music played on the tv. "Everything she wants" by Wham. Iwaizumi hummed along and Oikawa listened, smiling. Iwaizumi had his eyes closed as he hummed. Oikawa shifted a bit and grabbed iwaizumis hand.
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Destroying Relationships With Something You Can't Control
FanfictionThere's a possibility I have BPD. It's quite a pain. Here's a vent story about it.