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┅ ⑅ ┅
You slam the tent flap harder than necessary, and one of the newer guards flinches. Let him. You're not here to make friends.
Lexa doesn't look up from the map. She never does right away. Her hands are clasped behind her back, spine ruler-straight, her jaw ticking the way it does when Clarke isn't the one speaking. You tell yourself that it doesn't matter. It's not personal.
That's a lie you've been choking on for days.
"There's a ration cart stuck near the pass," you say, tone clipped. "No Grounder scouts are available. I'll go."
Her gaze lifts then, green and unreadable. "It's not your responsibility."
"Neither was the water shortage. Didn't stop me from helping fix it."
"You are not trained for the mountain terrain."
"I've hiked it twice and ridden it more than that. I know the bends, and I know how to move up there."
Lexa turns her head slightly, her eyes scanning the map. "That doesn't make you a scout."
"I don't need to be. I just need to be competent. Which I am." You pause, heat rising to your face. "I know I'm not Clarke. I'm not trying to be. But I deserve more than a dismissive hand."
That earns you a glance. It's brief, but it's there. You hate how much you crave it, and how fast she looks away again.
"You're Skaikru."
"And that's all I'll ever be to you, isn't it?"
That gets a reaction, even if it's slight. You see the twitch of her fingers where they curl behind her, but she gives nothing else away. She turns back to the map like it didn't matter. Like you don't.
"You're needed here."
"No," you disagree. "Clarke is needed here. Bellamy is needed here. I'm just an extra body in the tent who follows orders. I didn't survive the Ark, the Dropship, and the Ground to be dismissed like this."
The silence tightens. She's listening. You know she is. You just don't know what part of you she's hearing.
After a beat, Lexa speaks. "Take a rider."
You leave the tent before she can change her mind.
For one fleeting second, as you mount the horse and push out into the blood-warmed twilight, you think you feel her watching, waiting to see the rider you didn't take with you.
