ʙᴜʀɴɪɴɢ ᴅᴇꜱɪʀᴇꜱ

Chapter 3

Amelia

"Is everything okay?"

I raised my head from the contract I was currently preparing and looked at Olivia in amazement.

"I mean, don't think I'm poking my nose where it doesn't belong, just. . . you seem a little absent and distracted. That doesn't look like you. At all."

I stared at her for a few seconds without saying a word. Is my inner turmoil really that noticeable, or do people simply see me as some kind of emotional robot incapable of basic human feelings such as pain, suffering or insecurity?

"Like I said, don't. . .''

"Olivia, I want you to answer me honestly."

I interrupted her slurred speech.

"How would you describe me in one word. No hard feelings, I won't resent you.''

"Miss Sammers, you are a very detailed, smart, dedicated. . .''

"I said one word. Sincerely."

She began to fidget, her mouth pursed so that thin lines appeared around them. Her ginger head was working at 100 miles per hour, weighing whether to really tell or keep quiet so as not to jeopardize her job.

"Stiff. That's the word I would use. I hope I won't regret this."

Then she quickly covered her face with her pale palms. After few moments, she separated her fingers peering through the opening between them, as if she was waiting for me to scold her at any moment.

"Thank you. Immensely. "

I smiled at her with a deep sigh. I've never been interested in other people's opinions, but if I'm going to be really honest, her words hurt me a little. I knew that, because in the first place, it was my decision to become such a person. To control means to survive. I immersed myself in work to save myself. 

But it hurt. Words can be like a sheet of paper. You can write the most beautiful verses on it, paint the most beautiful pictures, but with a little carelessness, their sharp edges can cut you deeply.

"I'm sorry, you are an extraordinary person, but sometimes you simply see everything too black or white. Sometimes it's ok to be red or maybe purple."

She said in her thin voice, a little more daring to have a personal conversation with me, unrelated to work.

I wanted to be red or maybe purple, but in a black and white world you are not taught about diversity. In such a world, color is a danger.

"Thank you Olivia, it's not easy to be honest. You can go now.''

I told her with a soft smile. And when I heard the sound of the door closing, I stood up and leaned against the window glass, which, like a kind of time portal, looked at the busy, colorful world, where there were other options besides white. Or black.

The truth was that I was fucked beyond repair. And the moment I'd let go of control, it would really show on me for others to see.

Working hours have long since passed and the only sound heard in the offices was the clicking of my heels. The elevator took me to the underground garage where my car was parked.

The eerie silence was blowing like the wind down the deserted corridors, and the flickering of the broken light did not alleviate that creepy feeling that began to flow through my veins. I turned around a couple of times, feeling a presence behind me, but no one was there.

When I got to my car, I breathed a sigh of relief. At that moment, someone's rough palm closed my mouth, not allowing any sound of my ghostly scream to leave my terrified body.

The other hand was on my stomach, blocking my arm and holding me in place.

"My boss is not at all satisfied with your behavior. It wasn't nice of you to let him beg you like that and hang up the phone on him in the end. You want to pretend to be a strong woman - be ready to really be it."

Horror began to take over my body vigorously. Tears began to wet my cheeks against my will as he dragged me across the deserted parking lot.

"You should have known better than to. . . What the fuck?"

He turned us both around just as the screeching of tires and the furious sound of the two-wheeled beast was heard. Although his lights blinded me, I saw him running directly towards, as if he intended to run over us.

"This is not over yet. My boss doesn't like unfinished business."

He let go of me and I fell to the ground from the force. He quickly fled through the dark alley next to the building. I was shaking and my frantic breathing was making my ribcage small for the oxygen I needed.

I didn't lie on the ground for long because I immediately jumped to my feet, straightening my suit.

There he stood. My savior in black, taming his wild beast on two wheels.

"Thank you. I don't know what would happen if you hadn't shown up."

I wiped my tears and tried to straighten my hair, while my trembling fingers got stuck in the tangled strands.

"The city is full of stalkers. Especially at night. I don't know where he came from."

I didn't want someone, him, to call the police and force me to talk. He has his connections there. After all, I didn't want anyone to know. I knew he didn't want to really hurt me. Or it was just what I hoped for in the depths of my hearth.

My black shadow just stood there, motionless. He didn't take his eyes off me and, as per the established pattern, he didn't say a single word.

I straightened my posture and took a step forward so that I was now standing directly in front of him. The darkened visor of his helmet still blocked my view of his face, but I knew that those eyes created invisible threads towards mine.

I extended my still trembling hand towards him and gently, almost imperceptibly, ran my fingertips over the tinted glass.

At that moment there was heard a thunderous sound of his machine and he sped past me, blending into the darkness of the night.

I got into the car when my phone rang. I answered and remained silent, waiting for him to speak first.

"Ams, please don't make me do this next time. It drives me crazy. I just want to have a nice conversation with you. for you to understand me. You know I love you immensely."

"This is not how people behave towards the ones they love."

My voice was left of the fear and only pure rage and anger rumbled through it.

"Sorry, you know how I can be. Okay. . . to prove it to you, I'll give you some time. When you're ready to talk, call me. I won't rush you anymore. But don't make me wait too long."

"OK.''

I said monotonously, disconnected from any emotion.

I put the phone back in my purse and started the car. As I made my way through the maze of cars on the way home, I noticed in the rearview mirror that he was following me the whole time and driving right behind me.

When I got to the building, I started to unlock the front door and before entering, I turned to him. 

He was waiting for me by the sidewalk. Waiting for me to go inside safely.

When he saw that i got inside ant closed the front door, he too disappeared.

My black shadow.

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