ʙᴜʀɴɪɴɢ ᴅᴇꜱɪʀᴇꜱ

Chapter 15

Sebastian

It was in the middle of the night, when silence ruled time and space. The illuminating rays of the new moon made their way through the rooms, scattering like heavenly dust.

I couldn't sleep. The new job was giving me trouble and I had a lot of doubts, which has never happened to me before. I always went through all this with a cool and clear head. I was constantly reassessing my priorities, because the completion of this job means only one thing for me - the top. But now she was there too. Besides her, reaching that top didn't give me as much pleasure as I thought it would. Because someone's top is someone else's bottom.

The deafening silence was broken by a sudden scream that shattered it into a million tiny pieces. All my senses were immediately on high alert. It dawned on me that it must be Amelia and without a second thought I jumped out of bed, running towards her room.

I flung open the door, frantically scanning the room for the intruder. But no one was there.

Amelia tossed and turned in her sleep, bathed in sweat. Painful tears and some slurred words flowed from her lips. She looked like she was in pain.

Then I realized that the intruder was not in the room, but in her head.

I approached her slowly and touched her forehead. She was burning with temperature.

She began to cry, squeezing her eyes hard and shaking her head.

"Please don't. Don't."

She cried softly, calling out every unconscious part of her seemingly random babbling.

"They came. I'm scared mom."

I listened, settling down to sit next to her.

I brushed away her hair that was sticking to her face. Her skin was so soft and warm. Her whole body was shaking from the fever.

"No mom. Nooo."

"Amelia, wake up."

She screamed with a painful cry. Tears streamed down her rosy cheeks. I tried to shake her gently and wake her up. Suddenly she opened her eyes and tried to take a deep breath, as if she was struggling for air. Her sobs did not stop and she looked around with wide eyes until finally her gaze landed on me.

She straightened up in a sitting position and was looking for support on the mattress with her hands, but her body was weak.

Her breathing was wild.

"I . . . Can't . . . Breathe."

She gasped for air as her chest rose and fell at a crazy pace.

"Calm down. Close your eyes and take a deep breath."

I said, holding her elbows with both hands.

"Take a deep breath and exhale."

After a few moments, she managed to calm her breathing somewhat. I raised my hand and removed a strand of hair from her forehead. She flinched a little when she felt my touch and her scared and red eyes looked at me like a doe.

"You're burning with a fever. We need to make you cool down and give you medicine."

My voice was soft and soothing and that fact startled me. I've never seen myself like this. She looked at me without saying a word, still deep in her thoughts.

"Can you get up?"

I asked her and she just nodded. She tried to stand up, only to be overtaken by weakness and began to fall.

I caught her in time and picked her up in my arms.

Her face was quite close to mine and everywhere my fingers touched her hot skin, I felt a strange tickle. Helplessly, she rested her head on my chest and I led her to the bathroom.

I lowered her into the tub and turned on the lukewarm, almost cold water, which began to fill the space around her. I took the medicine from the cabinets and gave it to her.

"Can you turn around?"

She said quite quietly and uncertainly. I just nodded and turned to leave the bathroom.

"Stay here, will you? Just turn around, but stay there."

Wordlessly, I turned around as the hiss of water echoed off the bathroom walls. This was followed by the dull sound of a sweatshirt falling to the floor.

Her soft sobs mingled with the sound of the water and the chattering of her teeth from the cold.

I felt when she got up and wrapped herself in a towel. After a few moments she asked me shyly and uncertainly in her exhausted voice.

"Can you help me out of here?"

I turned to her. Her brown, long hair fell over her shoulders as she held a towel tightly around her chest.

I reached over and grabbed her around the waist to lower her to the floor. Her legs were unsteady and buckled when she tried to lean on them.

"Come, I'll carry you to bed."

I took her in my arms, fighting the fever that was currently burning in my head. I was tormented by a sincere tenderness and concern in my voice and the affection I felt for her, holding her in my arms, removed from all lust. Just pure affection.

I put her down on the floor and she bent down and rummaged through the bag that was next to the bed. She took out her underwear and silk nightgown and looked up at me.

I caught her look and turned my back to her as she slowly put on her things.

"Thank you."

She said looking me straight in the eyes, then she immediately look away in shame.

"You are welcome."

I mumbled more briefly and quietly than I intended.

"I'll leave you now. If you need anything, my room is right next door, beside yours."

Sitting on the edge of the bed, just as I was about to get up, she held my hand.

"Sebastian, please stay."

I stood motionless, debugging in my head what to do. Her swollen eyes and pleading look did not give me peace.

She lay down lightly, still holding my hand, I settled down next to her. Her back was turned to me, but I knew she was still awake, her eyes wide open. Her body was still shaking from the temperature. I started to think about what she was raving about. Guilt and sadness were woven into her voice. My thoughts were interrupted by her thin voice.

"You were right."

"About what?"

I said through whisper. Her shoulders slumped and I felt tears slide down her cheeks, occasionally sniffling.

"I don't know how to have fun. Every attempt I've made has ended badly. Very badly."

She told me as if she was reliving some images in her head, her body shivered from the strength of the memory. I realized how much my words haunted her. And I knew that there was a bigger story behind them.

Just when I was about to answer her, I realized that she said that in a half-awake state and that she had already fallen asleep.

I felt stiff next to her because I had never been in a bed with a woman without sex or any other kind of pleasure involved.

I got up slowly so as not to wake her, but it was as if I was burned by her proximity. I grabbed the doorknob and took another look at her.

I saw that the invisible line between us was fading more and more and turning into ashes. I closed my eyes tightly and said to myself.

This is just lust. Nothing more. If I need to get her out of my system by having her, then I'm going to fuck her until every thought of her leaves my body. I will satisfy my primitive desire for her, proving to myself that she is nothing more to me. Nothing more than fucking desire.

I closed the door, locking away my feelings for her.