ʙᴜʀɴɪɴɢ ᴅᴇꜱɪʀᴇꜱ

Chapter 17

Amelia

I returned to the room in which I was staying, while the endless string of incoherent thoughts rumbled in my head. My body was buzzing with a mixture of some dark, heavy feeling and countless tiny electric jolts.

It's an understatement to say that I was confused. I was having a fucking mental breakdown. Happenings from the past few days were getting to me. I went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face a couple of times, trying to come to my senses.

The figure I saw in the mirror looked like me, but it didn't feel like me at all. The walls that I built around me for years slowly began to show their cracks. Looking at the space around me, I wondered why I felt the need to ask Sebastian to stay with me. In the bathroom. In the bed.

Until now, I have had so many nightmares that I no longer know their number. And I always managed to free myself from their clutches, although a couple of times I was on the verge of calling Gabriel for support. But I didn't.

And yesterday, next to Sebastian, I was like a small puppy saved from a devastating storm blazing outside.

I needed to be saved for a long time now, I knew that. But I didn't know that in moments of hopelessness it would be a person I don't know enough, and the little I knew about him was contradicting the decision I made that moment.

I let him see me vulnerable and that's what bothered me. I let him.

And what did I actually know about him, except that he is an arrogant, conceited person with an (un)justified excess of self-confidence? Nothing. Even the internet didn't know.
A young multimillionaire entrepreneur in the field of technology. Plain and simple. Nothing about his dating life, in fact no personal information. He was a very private person, an enigma, never exposing himself too much.

I went to bed, knowing that I wouldn't sleep a wink that night. In the sea of ​​restless tossing and turning on the bed and fighting with the sheets, something became increasingly clear to me.

Although every sane thought in my head fought against it, it was written all over my mind.

And that is that every millimeter of my body wants to be possessed by him. That some raw desire started flowing through my veins, so strong that it goes against everything I know.

But I shouldn't go easy on him. He must earn the right to destroy us both, as he said. Work hard for it.

The control freak in my head was frantically waving a red flag, warning me to be careful that while I'm toying with the darker than night Mr. Reese, trying to fuck with his head, I don't put myself in a position where the one who's going to be fucked really hard is me.

I knew that. And I was all in.

The morning came, which did not bring any feeling of additional relief except for the sun's rays that spread like a waterfall through the window panes. The throbbing sensation in my head stopped and I felt more energetic.

Homesickness began to creep into me and the emptiness that echoed in this house only emphasized it.
My bare steps broke the silence of the corridor I was walking on, until I found myself in front of the balcony door that led to the garden.

Now, for the first time, I actually laid eyes on this property. A beautiful lawn with various shrubs and ornamental trees spread out from the back of the house. A wooden gazebo was positioned in the middle, with red roses growing on its wooden poles.

The morning dew that completely covered the sown grass tickled my feet, which led me to the gazebo. I reclined in the soft cushions of the garden furniture, listening to the silence and the occasional early bird.

I took out my phone, seeing a million messages and missed calls, but my gaze kept wandering to those dark red roses around me. They were beautiful.

Suddenly, William's message jolted me and my body was once again in a state of high alert.

I will have to postpone our meeting this month. This does not change our agreement for the future. There is a real threat for me at the moment. I'm solving it. I don't want to involve you into that. Again. Let it be an indication of how much you mean to me and how much I love you.

The feeling of relief that overwhelmed me constantly alternated with feelings of fear and guilt. So, that bullet was meant for me after all. Not to Sebastian. I wasn't good for him. He was right.

Guilt began to eat me alive. Do I really want to involve this man in something in which I am chained with steel chains? Because of what- a feeling that I yet have to explore or   for a possible mind blowing sex?

I had to get out of here.

I flew to the room, changing into the leggings I found in the bag and took Sebastian's hoodie that he gave me, pulling it over my head. His scent was all over me, making this more difficult than it is. I didn't know where I was, I didn't know how I was going to get home, but I had to get out of here.

"I have to get out of here."

I said it out loud this time for myself to accept it easier, as I picked up the phone and looked at where my purse was, because my wallet was in  it.

"And where exactly do you plan on going?"

His sharp and slightly hostile voice startled me.

I turned and he was standing behind me, still dressed in the clothes from last night, with a tired face, which made him even sexier.

"Out of here."

"Oh, is that right?"

He approached me with threatening steps, his presence absorbing the room like a black hole.

"I think I was clear when I said you weren't going anywhere."

"You can't keep me imprisoned here. I'm going home. And you're going to let me go."

Annoyance was already visible on his face.

"You're not going anywhere. Clear?"

I saw that this discussion was going nowhere, so I did what I had to do. To hurt him.

"Do you understand that I don't want to be here? In your house, next to you. You were right when you said yesterday that you were no good for me. Don't make me hate you before I really have to."

At that moment, a part of me seemed to separate and leave my body. Although nothing happened to me physically, I felt the pain very real.

I had to, I know. But it damn hurt. I just don't know why this much.

His gaze on me was scrutinizing, his eyes hard, unwavering. He pursed his lips and exhaled deeply and furiously, just moved aside and made room for me to pass.

I looked at him once more, his eyes crushed mine with their power. I swallowed the feeling stuck in my throat and headed for the door.

When I left the house, the driver was already waiting for me in the car at the gate.

“Miss Sammers, I'll take you home."

Suddenly, homesickeness ceased to have any previous meaning and remained glued to his door.