Until My Final Breath Escapes~ A Will Ramos Romance~

27. I Will Sink Where I Lie

The next few months dragged on. Their trial kept being postponed  as everything in the court system took forever.

Charlotte continued to go to weekly therapy  to deal with the returning anxiety that was stirred back up with all the chaos that happened. Not only was she still trying to cope with missing Winter....but it was still stressing her out that Will was still in California. She still wasn't able to speak to him on the phone, but she made sure to write him letters. Most of them a few pages long keeping him updated on the trial and life in general.

Will wrote back and he told her he was really loving California and was thinking about making a permanent move. This, of course, was shocking news to Charlotte. She pictured him coming back home to New Jersey and them possibly working on their relationship, but now this was clearly not in the books for them. Charlotte's tattoo shop was out there and her friends.

However, she supported his decision knowing that it was more important for him to be healthy. As soon as he was able to make phone calls, he called her first before anyone. They stayed on the phone for a couple hours, talking about the stuff with Noah and the evidence they found. Will was overwhelmed and freaked out that Charlotte had been such good "friends" with him and neither of them had any idea how violent he really was. Charlotte told Will the next court date, knowing he would be out of the clinic by then. She knew he wanted to stay on the west coast but had faith he would be willing to fly out for the trial to support her. They were both still seeking so desperately for justice for their trauma.

"So.....I know you're busy with tattooing and everything but....I was wondering if maybe you might want to come visit...."

Charlotte sighed just thinking to herself not sure of what to say. She really missed him but thought to herself if he was starting a whole new life in California, that maybe she should start to withdraw from him for her own emotional safety.

She hung in there these last three months, with a small hope that they would eventually reconcile. But now, what was the point? If he was going to be living on the other side of the country, maybe it was best for her to just accept him as a casualty, no longer a part of her life.

"Will....I'm so proud of you and everything you've accomplished over the last few months. But I think maybe, we should only really keep in contact over the trial......I just..." she sighed struggling with being vulnerable and telling him how she really felt, "I just think me seeing you is going to make things harder, knowing I'm going to have to eventually come home....."

"Oh..." she could hear the disappointment in his voice and she instantly regretted her words.

"Char, just because I'm thinking of staying out here, doesn't mean I don't want you in my life..."

"And I get that, Will. But it would kill me to come out there and then have to leave again...I think maybe we should just keep things the way they are." She didn't really mean it but she thought maybe it's what he wanted and she was too scared to tell him how much she yearned for him still.

There was a few moments of silence on Will's end. This wasn't the conversation he expected for them to have after months of them not being able to speak. Every day he thought back to Charlotte bringing him to the airport, and the kiss they shared before he left. It gave him a sense of hope that they would find their way back. But with the way Charlotte was starting to withdraw from him, he wondered if maybe she didn't mean anything by the kiss. However, he saw the true sadness in her eyes that day and thought there was no way she faked those emotions.

"Charlotte....what do you want....so you want me to come home and risk relapsing?" Will got defensive, his mechanism to protect himself whenever he started to get emotional.