Tell me (boyxboy yullen) DISCONTINUED

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     (Allen's POV)
      Pulling on my white gloves, I walked out of my room, into the hallway. It was chilly, the winter snowy air seeping through the walls of the Black Order. 'Its way to cold' I thought, walking into the large cafeteria.
"Hey Jerry!" I greet to the dark skinned man behind the counter.
"What do you want today, sweetie?" He asked. Jerry was quite an odd man. He had a lot of muscles, and had graying hair in a pony tail, even though he was fairly young. 'Of course, I have hair as white as snow and I'm only 15, so I can't really say that.' I said to my self.
"I'd like the usual!" I answer, which is pretty much everything on the menu.
Times like, ten.
"Disgusting." Whipping around quickly, my teal eyes fall on a young man. Long, purple-blue hair in a pony tail, olive skin, thin ebony eyes with a tint of blue, and a samurai sword at his side, also known as Mugen. Beautiful.
Kanda.
"You're such a damn pig, eating that much." 'Ouch. That hurts.' Shoving me to the side, Kanda tells Jerry what he wants, and walks away to the table where Lavi and Lenalee were laughing, oblivious to what was going on. I wasn't feeling so hungry anymore.
"Uh, Jerry? I actually think i'll just have toast." He looks at me, a frown strewn across his face but doesn't question me. He just nods. I wait for the toast to be done, I don't think I could be around Kanda at the moment. 'He's right you know.' A voice said in the back of my mind. 'You want him to love you back, right? You love him, right?' And it was true. I wanted desperately for Kanda to at least look at me without the hatred. The hatred that bore into my soul.
"Allen?" Jerry asked, eyeing me. "Here." He shoved a plate of toast at me. "Could you go tell Kanda that his soba is ready?" 'Please don't make me go there, please!' "Sure." I reply simply. Carrying both dishes to the table where Kanda, Lavi and Lenalee sat.
"Here's your soba, Kanda." I say, setting it on the table. He just looks at me, I could feel the loathing piercing through my skin, making it crack. I could hear it.
"Allen, is that all you're gonna' eat?" Lenalee asks. She was a beautiful woman. Large blue eyes, always sparkling, and lucious blue hair. I didn't deserve a friend like her.
"I woke up early so I ate then, I just wanted to see you guys." I hated how the lie so easily crept through my mouth, like a snake.
"Aww! Allen! You didn't hafta' do that!" Lavi answers. A bright smile on his face. He was always so happy. Bright, like his fire-engine red hair and emerald eyes. Why did he like me?
Looking to my side, I saw that kanda wasn't even paying attention. Sitting down, I look at my toast. It looked gross, and as I took a bite I could feel the roughness of it at the back of my throat, making me more hungry'. But I couldn't eat to much. I want to be perfect for Kanda.

      (Back in allens room)

      Closing the oak door behind me, I took a deep sigh. 'Why did I eat all of the toast? I'm gonna' get so fat...' Walking to the bathroom, I looked into the mirror. I didn't see a thin, young boy, with beautiful teal eyes, with flecks of gold if you looked close enough. I saw a fat, ugly kid. With a disgusting scar on his stupid face.
Taking off my shirt and jacket, I saw my arm. Ugly. Disgusting. Unwanted. It was a raw red color, and had a rough, scaly feel to it. The nails were long and black. 'Who would even want to look at me?' I could feel tears building up in my eyes, a headache growing as I forced the tears to not fall.
I reached out my left arm, touching the mirror. I started putting pressure on it, and the mirror started cracking, it cracked over my face, as if I was to ugly to even be seen in the mirror, and then they fell. They were hot on my cheeks, yet it made me feel even colder. I could feel a ball of ice in my stomach, pulling me down. I was so weak, useless. Falling to the ground I started sobbing. Why couldn't I be good enough? What am I? Looking back up at the cracked mirror, I couldn't help but want to retch at the way I looked. My thighs were flabby and jiggled, and my cheeks were so large. And thats when I decided. 'I'm doing this for you Kanda.' I would make myself good enough. Sniffling, I stood back up and looked at the mirror. "I'm going to change."

Authors note: well. Thats the first chapter. It's sorta short but im pretty proud of it! I dont know how long this story will be but I hope it goes far!
Ja ne~