Who You Really Are - Batjokes

V

"Alfred, help me!"
"Bats! Hey, don't close your eyes! Wake up Bats, wake up, don't die on me here!"
"J- Joker?"
"Bats! Stay with me Bats, please!"

3 hours earlier
"Alright Alfred, I'm heading out for patrol. You know what to do?"
"Sir, just because you're going to be out on the first long patrol in weeks certainly does not imply I have gotten out of training", Alfred spoke almost insulted, pulling up his sleeves a little.
"You're the Batcave's last instance of protection for a reason", Bruce let his Butler know, watching with joy as a sly smile formed on his lips. Just as the one with Joker, Bruce's conflict with his dear butler was already forgotten.
"That is a very kind thing of you to say, Sir"
"Oh don't worry bats, the old man and I are going to be just fine, right Alfie?", Joker now added from his corner of the Batcave and Bruce's eyes widened underneath the cowl.
"Alfie?", he inquired with an amused tone that probably only Alfred could interpret as such. The Butler only let out an exhausted sigh, rubbing his temples.
"Our.. patient has not hesitated preparing a row of nicknames to call me for he simply believes my real name is too-"
"Boring!", the clown finished the sentence with a loud voice, emphasising his opinion on the name still hasn't changed.
"I think I like that one", Bruce eventually chuckled and made his way to the Batmobile.
"See you later, Alfie", he then said and turned to Joker.
"You'll come home with a few bruises I hope", the man declared with a wide grin and Bruce didn't move his face.
"I'll return without a single scratch", were his last words before he was off into the cold December streets of Gotham, covered in a cloth of snow... and ashes.

That was why Bruce's patrol soon found an interesting turn, he followed the trace of particles blown in the wind down to Gotham's old toy company, "Krank Co. Toys".
According to Gordon, residents have noticed some shady people sneaking around the building and tonight they've heard a sound that couldn't be heard in over 20 years: running machines.
A sound that used to bring joy into children's hearts now let shivers run down Batman's spine as he wandered through the old, abandoned halls of the company, hearing only how old, rusty metal pressed against one another.
"You're lucky, sir, no signs of any armed hostiles within the factory area-"
"Which doesn't mean they can't break your bones!", Joker's laugh interrupted Alfred's report but somehow his presence warmed Bruce's heart being out here all alone within a creepy factory.
"Thank you, you both", he gave through but decided to stay alert nevertheless. That was until he stepped into something, something sticky and-
'Toxic!', Bruce thought to himself in panic as he felt the liquid underneath his suit melt away parts of his boots. Nothing too grave, it was his batsuit after all, however it still let him know whoever was involved in this was the criminal he had been chasing for the past weeks and that let him both fear and hope for what would be to come.

Another look at the acid let him it hasn't been there for long, it must've been dropped here at most an hour ago.
"I know you're here!", Bruce yelled through the factory, making his voice echoe past the howling machines around him.
"Turn yourself in and I might not have to hurt you"
He suddenly heard something rustle behind him but saw nothing.
"Aha-ha-ha", a deep voice suddenly laughed behind him, as he turned back he found himself facing a monstrous man of twice the size of the vigilante himself. He was huge and muscular, his veins pulsed with blood and a fluid that appeared to strengthen him even more. In his hands he held what Batman recognised as the green acid he'd researched earlier, the same acid that changed the Joker forever.
"Who are you?", he asked trying to cover up his fear as best as possible, believing he's faced enemies much worse, though only half his size.
"I'm a nightmare, much like yourself. But you can call me Bane", he spoke confident and waved towards something behind Batman.
Until now Bruce has only heard stories about Bane, dark tales the police would tell the him for information on cases that never turned out to actually be linked to him. But now he stood here, strong, intimidating, laughing. It gave Batman chills he didn't like. The man's goons now arrived behind them, Batman heard three machine guns cock and had to act quick throwing himself onto the first guy before knocking out the other two.