Who You Really Are - Batjokes

VIII

The rage of having been tricked drove Batman along the underworld of Gotham at an abnormal speed, setting a relentless course. He interrogated every thug around, beat them black and blue if he had to until eventually one of them talked. He knew where to go now, he knew what was awaiting him and how to handle it.
Like the vengeful shadow of the night, he rained down on Theo until he held the man with four broken ribs by his throat.
"Tell me where Bane is or I will gut you alive", he growled at the man who was by now barely conscious.
"So you figured it out", the alleged king of the underworld laughed in a ridiculous manner that tested Batman's temper.
"I'll tell you where he is, but first-"
"Wrong answer", he interrupted him. He didn't come here to negotiate, he wanted answers and he'd demand them right here, right now. He held the man right above the ground before he dragged him over to let him dangle over the railing right above an open vat filled with menacingly bubbling acid.
"You wanna be so much like Joker, let's see how you like experiencing the same physical changes as him."
Theo's eyes widened in shock and he rowed his arms around helplessly.
"No, please don't!"
"Then talk!"
"Fine, I'll tell you everything you wanna know!"
"Where's Bane?"
"He'll be here soon! We were meant to perform an exchange at 10!"
Bruce threw a look at the time, he had fifteen minutes.
"What were you going to hand over?"
"Explosives for money!"
"What does he need them for?"
"I don't know man, I promise I-"
Batman shook the man a little until he screamed in fear.
"Alright! He might have said something about blowing up Arkham so he can be the only villain left in Gotham and take over the city!"

As Batman found himself satisfied with the answers he got, he finally set the man back onto his feet.
"You're really stupid", he mumbled.
"Why?"
"Because if Bane wants to be the only villain left in Gotham, he's going to come for you too."
Theo looked at him with big eyes before he swallowed harshly at the realisation.
"What are you gonna do to me now?"
Batman served the man a juicy punch right against his jaw and watched him sack to the ground unconsciously.
"This."
He then prepared a trap for Bane and waited patiently until the moment had come and the heavy door to the factory was opened.
"Where the hell are you, Theo?", Bane's voice echoed through the halls and as if his body remembered what this voice had done to him the last time he heard it, Bruce instantly froze. The images of said night flashed by his inner eye, the fight, the pain, the blood. Everything Bruce saw was now covered in a deep shade of red and he suddenly felt a lump stuck in his throat whilst his heart began to race until his chest hurt. Cold sweat ran down his spine and panic rose inside of him as now he didn't just hear but see Bane standing barely a few metres away from him.
Everything inside Bruce told him to flee but he knew there was no way back now.
With all strength he had, he bit his teeth together and stormed out his hiding spot, grabbed Bane by his head and smashed it onto the ground that he would hear a faint yelp from the man. He then disarmed his thugs and tied them all up.
The villain went back on his feet and laughed darkly.
"Who do we have here? Looks like you've recovered from our last encounter sooner than I would've expected you to"
He then clenched his fists together.
"I can fix that."
Bruce wouldn't let the bigger man land a hit this time, he threw a steel bar at him and fired an electrifying shock that fried Bane almost unconscious. Then he did something he didn't need to do for Gotham but himself, he placed his foot on his opponent's chest and pressed him onto the ground.
"I have won, Bane. If you ever get the chance to escape, do us both the favour and leave Gotham for good."
The moment these words had left his mouth, Bruce noticed he wasn't shaking anymore, his heart didn't race and the lump in his throat was gone. The last thing he needed to do was secure the explosives and make sure GCPD confiscated them properly before he returned to the Batcave with a relieved smile on his lips.

"Oh look who's back and- Oh my, Alfie!
Alfie, call an ambulance, Batman is smiling!", Joker bellowed playfully as the taller man paid him a visit shortly after.
With an amused chuckle, Batman took off his cowl and threw a paper bag onto the table.
"What's this?", Joker asked curiously.
"Dinner"
"But it's not Friday yet"
"I decided I couldn't wait until Friday to get some time alone with you", Bruce told the other man and even though Joker probably couldn't see it, his heart was running like crazy from excitement. Ever since his encounter with Bane, he felt so much more alive but at the same time like he was close to facing death once again. The second encounter with the villain taught him that life's too short to be afraid of living it.
A wide grin suddenly stretched across Joker's face.
"So, we're not supervised?"
"That's right", Bruce answered shortly, not sure what to make of Joker's mischievous aura.
"Oh Bats, when I think of all the things I could do in a room alone with you, tell me what's stopping me from smashing that beautiful face of yours before I'm having you right here on this table."
His grin turned into a smirk and Bruce swallowed harshly at the imagination of what the other man's just described.
"How about we slow things down for now? We haven't even had a proper date yet, you said so yourself"
Joker started laughing amusedly.
"So this means you're asking me out?"
"What if I did? How would you like Friday night? I'll have us served a proper dinner this time, you can have anything you like"
As if to challenge him, Joker folded his fingers together and rested his chin on top of them before he spoke with a grin that's returned to its mischievous manner:
"I want a tender cooked Cornish Game Hens with Garlic and Rosemary in a red whine sauce."
"I can arrange that", Bruce answered like it's nothing, though it was so much more to the clown who clasped his hands together in joy and leaned back in his chair.
"It's a date then!"
"It's a date", Bruce smiled relieved and admired the man in front of him now curiously unpacking his sandwich.