One moment, one life time (A Taylor Lautner love story)

Chapter 23

Ok, let's start off easy.... "You remember I told you I have 2 older brothers, younger sister, and a much younger brother? And that we were really poor and mom remarried when I was 5?" 

He nodded yes watching me and listening intently. 

"My dad took off shortly after I was born. I guess 3 kids in 5 years was too much for him. Or maybe he just didn't want a girl. Either way, that left mom a single mom for a little while. Then she got pregnant with Allie. We aren't sure who her father is, but mom was very pregnant with Allie when she met Greg, our stepdad. I guess his willingness to take a woman very pregnant with 3 kids at home was enough credentials to make him husband material." That came out a lot more angry than I intended, and to be honest, that surprised me. I believed I'd dealt with all the emotions that came from this subject a while ago. 

Taylor squeezed my leg in support, and I took a quick sip and continued on. 

"Greg was a drunk. It didn't take long for us to figure out he was an abusive drunk. I was 3, Ethan 5, and Seth 7 when Allie came along. He started beating our mother after Allie was born. For anything really, if Allie cried too long, if dinner wasn't hot enough, if dinner wasn't good enough. I remember hiding in my closet every time I heard a dish get thrown. He'd beat her, then go pass out. Almost daily it seemed like. Seth would go offer to help her clean up her wounds after the coast was clear, but she would always send him away with 'no honey I'm ok'"

I felt Taylor tense up next to me. That pulled me out of my trance of remembering long enough to look up at him. He squeezed my leg again and smiled, willing me to continue. 

I closed my eyes and the picture of one of those early years came flooding back. I winced like it was a physical pain again. Taylor was turned towards me with a look of concern when I opened my eyes to end the memory. "It was maybe a year later. Ethan and I had started to learn how to take care of a baby. The beatings had gotten worse, and Greg would leave for long stretches of time, so we were left with Allie. Seth was in school by then.... I'm guessing Greg was getting bored by just using my mother as a target. I remember we were all at the table eating dinner, Greg walked in as Seth was dishing up a plate for Ethan. Greg slapped the plate out of Seth's hands, sending the hot mac n cheese all over Ethan and I. 'You serve me first boy', and with that, he hit Seth across the face, knocking him to the floor. Allie started crying, so I jumped up to grab her. Greg started in our direction, but Ethan, who had been sitting next to me jumped up and pushed both of us back to the wall with him in front of us. I guess that was enough of a fear reaction to suffice Greg because he left down the hall to find our mom in the bedroom."

"Oh my God baby" Taylor was tense again. Unfortunately I knew the tension would only get worse for him as this information unfolded itself for him. 

"That wasn't the only time Seth got hit. Seems after we were 7 or 8 we were acceptable targets then as well. My first time closing up wounds I was only 4 years old. Seth got beat bad enough to open a gash that needed stitches. I did my best to clean it."

"Your mom wasn't around to take care of that?" asked Taylor. 

"Mom took a second beating of the day to give Greg a target after Seth started bleeding badly. But overall she spent a lot of time just trying to hide from Greg or us, from her life really. Just after that Greg decided he was going to teach 'these boys how to be tough' He started teaching them how to take a punch by punching them. And then following that with showing them how to deliver a punch as well. Of course they were never punching him. No he had them punching each other. And when they didn't throw their weight behind the punch they would get beat further by him. I was repairing knuckles and hands regularly. I remember looking up a first aid book in the library at school to try to figure out how to help them better. I was just 6 years old at that point. Of course I had to read fast so no one found out."

Worry had overtaken Taylor's face. I knew the question he needed to ask before he could bring himself to. Finally he asked "Was he hitting you too?"

"Not at that point. I wasn't over 7 yet."

Taylor took a deep breath, a deep drink of his wine and set the glass down on the table next to him. I took that moment to get another drink of my wine. His right hand clenched. "But he did eventually hit you?" 

"Yep. I was pretty lucky overall. I'd seen it all play out so much that I got good at reading the signs that physical violence was coming. I hid a lot. Seth and Ethan would also step in and take hits when Greg was intending to look for me. Those 2 saved me more times than I ever want to count. But as they both got more busy in school I was left at home more and more with Allie. So it was my turn to take it to save Allie." I looked up from my wine glass to check on him and found him with his jaw clenched. Trying to ease some of the tension I said with a chuckle,  "You're not the only one that can take a punch." 

"I'll kill the son of a bitch" he muttered under his breath. 

I turned towards him, reaching over his body to the arm with the clenched fist. I ran my hand down his arm from the elbow down to his hands hoping that he'd relax and hold my hand. He did. I needed to comfort him. My story would wait. We sat facing each other, his right hand on my leg and left hand in my hand for several minutes. He was glossy eyed from tears that weren't allowed to surface.

I watched as this beautiful, thoughtful man steeled himself so he could stand to hear the rest. It broke my heart to watch, but these are the skeletons that will shred a relationship like confetti if they're left up to surprise.

I was deep in thought trying to figure out what to share next without reopening the suitcases of emotions long packed away when I felt him squeeze my hand. I'm unsure how long I'd been lost in my head but his eyes said it was long enough for him to worry about me.

"I'm sorry my reaction interfered with your story. Please continue on." urged Taylor.

"I was just sitting here trying to decide how much detail we both need to endure in order for you to know what you need to know."

Nodding silently he pulled me into a hug. I didn't realize how much I needed that strength from him. The tears streamed from my eyes, not from the relived trauma but from the overwhelming feeling of care that felt like it was welding the holes in my heart.