The Pursuit Of Ölum - Book in 30 days

Chapter 27 - Regret - 08/12/2023

"The dread, the dead, rise from ashes,

To savor the joy of battle, in life's rekindling flashes."

No, this doesn't help me, I don't want to read,

Why, why, why am I unable to heed?

Why can't I enjoy, though I desperately yearn?

A knife in the corner, I notice, my heart starts to churn.

It belonged to my sister, a creation of mine,

Made with love, for her, a gesture so fine.

But I can't, I can't bear the weight,

My heart is drowning in tears, an unbearable state.

Recollections of how we once laughed and had fun,

Dreamt of a treehouse, a life just begun.

With this very knife, we planned to build,

A shelter of dreams, a future fulfilled.

But I can't, I can't, the pain cuts through,

I cry, I scream, as the memories accrue.

I want to pick it up, I hug the cold steel,

Oops, it cuts me, but for a moment, I feel.

A strange solace in the sting, a brief release,

As I navigate the fragments, seeking inner peace.

My heart is hurting, my heart, stop hurting

I pointed the blade against my palm filled with my misery

And stick right in to it

I am bleeding

It is so warmth

I feel such a relief!

But still... my heart still hurt

I grabbed it and pointed ...

Shiver!

I feel the shiver, fear and joy

Screech, screech, I distinctly hear in the mirror

It can't be, I beg you, I don't want to see it

I am forced to turn around, I am witnessing the creature of the night

Cloud of darkness, who takes hope and gives it back

To mercilessly wild its knife

But how am I able to see this thing?

And this mask?

"Ölum"

I say to him

"Do you want to...

Why did you come here

When I was in my weakest point?

Come

Come

Take

Me"

"I return to my vomit,

Laying down on it.

Closing my eyes,

Feeling it nears me.

A cycle of regret,

A dance with my own mess.

In the darkness, I find solace,