My On-Going Life

8

I'm alive, yes. I'm just trying not to die under assignments....

Here we go!

Is there a saying somewhere that when too much happens in your life, you become confused about your own life choices? That's how Asha's current life is. When was the last time she sat down to write about this? She felt that because she was neglecting her book, be it online, it was still her work. She let out a sigh and moved her iris to glance at her roommates from where she was sitting. She have been feeling around them, not particularly by both but one of them in particular. Devu's behavior has confused Asha to the point that she started to be wary around her. It wasn't that bad before, but it couldn't be ignored either. Sometimes, because of this, Asha saw herself as a criminal who was tormenting her mentally, and that made her question her own existence.

Asha sighs once again. She's mentally exhausted even considering changing her sometimes but knowing but knowing the physical strength that's needed and along with college... yeah, no thanks. When Asha looked up from her laptop after coming out of her thoughts, she found herself alone in the room.

"...."

She closes her laptop and stand up to grab her cup to get tea from the dining hall since it's already time for an evening snack and might as well clear her head while doing so. She has been facing symptoms of depression again. No one knows, and she wants to keep it that way because even she can't understand what's wrong with her. She is just drawing her feelings away. Daily. She makes mandala with motivational and positive quotes and posts them on Instagram in the hope of cheering other people up at least. She felt better in doing this, so she continued, and it kept her mind busy in something.

Asha's 5th semester exam was recently finished, and semester orientation for the 6th semester was also held to announce the plans. The college would start from Monday, so Asha was left idle with nothing to do. Funny thing is, she complained about the work given by the college (at least it keeps her active and away from overthinking) but when she's left with everything done along with exams  she finds herself in anxious state.

Human Nature. She really can't do anything about it.

Asha adjusted her glasses over her nose. There is nothing wrong with her vision. She went for an eye checkup along with her father because obviously he already had specs, but he never used it, which worsened his sight a bit. The doctor said her vision is sharp and good, so he gave 0.25 specs just for her headache, saying that if she want to wear it all the time except for the festives and parties it's alright otherwise she can wear it when her head starts aching. As for her father, he got some good scolding by the doctor (which was needed because he never listened to anyone), and Asha did not defended him or said anything because it was his fault and she warned him about it. Overall, the situation was quite hilarious, and even her mom laughed about it after hearing the whole situation. She is not going to talk about how they managed to drive safely, especially when both of them were half blind because of the drops put into her eyes for the checkup. Asha still shivered at the memory of that.

Now, for the present situation, Asha is not looking forward to college for some reason. It's not something new, but this time, not only her most of the people felt the same, which was odd, and not only that, they already startled getting reservations for winter vacation which made Asha speechless because she was also included in that even though she haven't gotten yet but she never moved this fast and early before just to get reservations to go back home. She sips her tea, looks like it can't be helped, it is what it is. Safe to say the date of the winter vacation is already mentioned in the academic calendar and that only will be followed.

Asha stopped typing for a moment, her mind going completely blank. Is there anything else to type? She frowned and racked her brain if there was any incident that happened because it had been a long time since she last wrote anything. She was about to give up when she saw both of her roommates talking to their boyfriends.

....................

Oh, how did she forget about that fiasco?

Devu tried to install a certain app to get Asha to talk to boys for "knowledge"? or "get more guy friends"? or "try casual dating (which got a big no from Asha)"? It was a bad idea. Asha knew it wouldn't even take a month for her to uninstall that said app, which indeed happened. Asha got one match, and after chatting with him for a week or so, she deleted her account and then uninstalled that app. She couldn't continue that, hell no. She's happy with her current single life, and constant drama always happens one day or the other. She doesn't want any addition to this for her own mental health. She'd rather continue dating fictional men from fan fiction, novel, manga, and anine; that is more than enough, plus her standard is high enough after reading and watching those that she believed she is going to be single for the rest of her life. Not that she mind, though. She's content with that, actually.

Asha looked at the time. Ah.... she has to draw a mandala today too and also have to make two portraits. Better start working now because she'll have no time for herself after the college starts since it's the 3rd year. Taking time out for small things will also be difficult. She checked the entire content she wrote today. It's really small, Asha let out a sad sigh, how much she would love to write more, but she is not only facing writer's block but also time management. Being a deign student isn't easy, but the truth is every college student is suffering along with the ones who are fresh out of the college and in the process of finding and getting the jobs. Talk about adulting, the bullshit which everyone have to face no matter when, but they have to at some point of their lives. Asha is already mentally preparing for that because she knows she's in for the biggest challenge of her life. For now, she's going to enjoy her college life as much as she can no matter how much she's going to die while drowning in the assignments. At least, it'll be worth it.

Whew, that's it for today. I'm sorry... I'll surely write more as soon as I get time again! Hope y'all like it!