The Darkest of Truths

Chapter 16

I was alone.

Alone in the dark once again.

Always fucking alone.

Damn it!

Damn it all!

"Fuck you!" I yelled to no one in particular.

"Fuck all of you for using that memory against me! I was a child!" I screamed to the darkness through tears before collapsing to the ground. "I was just a fucking child. I didn't mean it," I repeated through sobs as I leaned forward with my arms wrapped around me in a cold embrace, my forehead almost touching the floor.

"Exactly. You were just a child. It wasn't your fault," said a gentle voice. A familiar voice.

I looked up at Viktor who was smiling down at me.

No, it wasn't Viktor, if it was him he wouldn't be smiling, but I wanted it to be him. I wanted to pretend that it was him for just a moment.

"Vik," I breathed out as I flung my arms around him and hugged him tightly, they smelt like Viktor, whoever this was. It was a comfort that I desperately needed in that moment.

"Hey there Chestnut," he said comfortingly as he returned my hug. "It's okay. You're safe," he whispered to me.

"I should never have thought that about her. It wasn't her fault, she was just a baby and she was hungry, starving. I'm a terrible sister, a terrible person."

"You were a child," he repeated. "A child who had gone through so much in such a short period. No one would blame you for thinking that especially since she was never going to survive that trip."

I backed out of the hug and looked up at him.

It was true.

Lyra was born early. I remembered being terrified by how small she was. The twins were early too but not like this. Lyra may have lived if everything had been fine at home. If there wasn't a war going on but there was and as a result we had to leave before she was ready. She never would have lived.

"But that soldier on the other hand, that was your fault."

Viktor quickly became Tristian within a blink of an eye, it was him who spoke that time. The gentle hold that Viktor had was gone and Tristian's grip was tight, his nails digging into my skin.

"You killed him. You did that, no denial there. You used your magic and killed him. As far as he knew, he died by the hands of a magic-using monster. In his final moments, you had confirmed everything that he had been taught about your kind."

His voice was cold and sneering, not like Tristian at all and yet exactly like him at the same time. I tried to get out of his grip but he was strong, a lot stronger than the real Tristian and the more I struggled the tighter his grip became.

"But I don't think that you're a monster," he told me gently. It was meant to be reassuring but if anything it terrified me more.

"I think that you're a good person. I can see that you're a good person but the magic that you were born with is evil. It will corrupt you, it's already started but I can help stop it. I can help you to become the good person you were always meant to be."

He let go of one of my arms to dangle my leather bracelet in front of me.

It was mocking me, from the shine of the leather and the runic symbols etched into it.

I hated that fucking bracelet. I should've loved it considering what it did to my magic. Especially when Tristian had said these words to me the first time round I had taken in every single word as truth.