방탄 소년단
"That... gash," I muttered, my nose rumpled in disdain - and sympathy for the man - as I studied the newly developing scar on his right eye.
It was fresh, the skin that surrounded the vermilion wound was puffy and distended, as if it just hap...
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The first day without any contact with Yoongi felt almost the same. This time, I felt a lot emptier, there was a small crack in my chest that slightly troubled me, making it difficult to keep my mind off Yoongi and our very first heated argument with one another.
I still couldn't fathom how apoplectic he'd become over my message, denuded by his anger, nothing I could say that would dissuade him from being so irate. How he instantly got right to the issue, and instead of attacking the issue, he attacked me— likely needing to get his fuming emotions out, and I was the only target at his service, impuissant to his fury that fed off my fragility.
I had seen Yoongi infuriated and frustrated before, but that time seemed different. It reminded me of that time he wreaked havoc on that poor motel room when he was trying to find me, tearing apart the harmless pillows, shoving the furniture, slamming all the drawers onto the bloody carpet, getting his anger out on inanimate objects over one small dilemma.
Still, it didn't take my surprise away from his reaction to my message.
Yoongi was so soft-spoken the majority of the time. He was calm. His features lacked expression and emotion. I didn't expect such an introverted man to have a plethora of anger stored in his body.
I wanted to understand him. I wanted to put myself in his perspective. He had been through so much that I didn't doubt that there were many times when he had to swallow his emotions and act unphased. So, these outbreaks made sense. They were feelings he stored safely to keep himself from seeming weak, and powerless. I understood why it was so easy for him to resort to agitated feelings instead of the ones seen as soft.
Yet, how could he think even for a second that behaving in such a manner with someone who shares an immense amount of love for him is ever okay? He had never been in a relationship, and neither have I, so he didn't get some sort of pass that would validate his blaring yet ephemeral hostility.
The longer I put painstaking thought into Yoongi, the deeper that tenuous void in my chest became. I was completely humiliated, and patronized by the man I love in front of his brothers. Pressed up against a wall, unable to explain my feelings to a man that was too busy rambling about himself.
Only when I cried out in pain from the sudden discomfort in my head did Yoongi snap out of the fog that his indignation cast upon him like the waft of an agitated ocean on a turbulent night.
As weeks progressed, I wondered if Yoongi put any second thought into me, and shared feelings of rue for his actions. I could only pray that he put serious thought into this break I initiated, and took it seriously. It was serious.
It would give Yoongi and I the opportunity to think about everything, and sort out our feelings, only then will we truly know the amount of love we share for one another. This break will either make or break us, and that's what I wanted from it.
I needed time to fix this issue between Mikhail and I, and I wanted to give Yoongi the chance to pensively think about his actions, and fix his erratic emotions. The relationship between Yoongi and I will no longer progress if he cannot grow, and subject himself to change.
