Bucket list

Chapter 15 Summer Trip

Isabella

It has been months since my father's death and grief was still there. Its roots seemed to grow on me and consume me, time being on its side I was left to rot.

But I am one of the few that have learned to live with it. Because at the same time as it may hurt, it's still a part that makes life, life.

I've learned to cherish it and accept it.

Grief, an essential part of life. It takes and it makes. Without it what is life?

I splashed these thoughts onto a canvas. Over and over again until not a single blank spot on it was left.

Hey, this was my outlet so what? Everyone has one.

I couldn't let numbness take over me, and I wasn't going to. After hours of working I managed to paint what I felt. The hands of despair grasping onto my heart and not letting it go. The guilt slowly contaminating every cell in my body. I tried to ignore it, I tried to deny it, but I just couldn't. Sometimes I just needed to allow this to happen, because it is part of healing.

Everyone goes through this, so who am I to think I'm special?

After placing my art work to dry I decided to try and not think about it for today. I did not want to lose another precious day in life because I was feeling sorry I couldn't bear holding the thought that I would be grieving in such a beautiful day.

Maybe I needed some fresh air?

I fixed the room back to the way it was before I begun painting and I got dressed. I wore my little jean shorts and white flower top combo and went outside for a few breaths of fresh air. My lungs couldnt thank me more. I had been in my apartment for days. Lea was out for a business trip which made it even easier for me to do absolutely nothing.

I kept trying to look at life from a bright perspective, but it was just so hard. With all that was happening it felt like life was sinking. Having Lorenzo on my side the entire time made it a lot easier though.

I wanted nothing more other than to be with him, but he was alway in some kind of trip, or off to a work trip.

I waisted a lot of time and then started planing ideas for the holiday trip that the university set up for the students.

It was a trip to Greece. We were all going to get the option to stay in a little hotel, one of those that people normally go to when they are broke.

We had a few destinations planned and in each room there would be two boys and two girls.

I was honestly shocked at the way they did that because normally girls and boys don't sleep in the same room in school trips, but they did that anyways. Most people decided to sign up for the trip so it will be quite full.

I honestly wanted Lea to be my roommate because it would be a lot more comfortable, but I was pretty sure it would be chosen at random.

The probability that one of my dorm mates would be someone I know is very low because I only know about two people.

Days passed and soon I was ready for the trip, packing my bags and heading to the meeting spot.

I had a white tag that said which group I was supposed to be in and, when the groups were put together I was surprised to find Lorenzo waiting for me at the table where my number was sitting.

"Lorenzo what are the chances?!" I exclaimed surprised.

"Small." He replied coldly. Two more people came, including one of the nasty cheerleader girls called Esmi and a guy a little shorter than Lorenzo. Esmi had her classic bitch face while the new guy just stood oddly close to Lorenzo.