Stephen plight

part 7

The rest of Bonden’s shift was nerve-wracking. He couldn't take his mind off of Stephen. he turned the earlier events over till they were worn at the edges.

He was afraid that Jack was the one responsible for the distress. There was no one or anything else he could infer would justify such a reaction in Stephen. To throw himself overboard!

Upon his release, he immediately headed to Stephen's room. He knocked softy at the door, at no reply he went it.

Stephen lay asleep in his cot, his laundaum forgotten on his chest. Bonden smiled at the sleeping form.

He pushed sweat sticky hair from his forehead and brushed away the dry salt on his thin skin.

He pulled the stool next to the cot and sat by him till half past seven when Stephen finally stirred.

"How's you feeling, doctor?" ”

Stephen pulled himself up onto his elbows and looked about Deliriously. He took in Bonden and let out a sigh, his face filled with a visible sense of tied resonation. Bonden stopped himself from reaching for his hand, instead occupying himself by pulling from his coat his forgotten breakfast and offering it to Stephen. Stephen refused, dejected.

"Would you like to talk about last night?" He said, pulling the hard tack apart and again forcing it to Stephen. "I understand if you don't." He would be deathly curious for the time being, but he could distract himself.

Stephen narrowly avoided the hard tack by turning his head. Bonden, not put out, reinvigorated his efforts.

"I'm afraid I can no longer stay on this ship." He swattered at Bonden's hand. "At the next port, I plan to depart."

Bonden looked up sharply.

He found himself caught off guard. The doctor had left the ship plenty of times, but he had always been off on duty or his natural inclinations. Surely he meant only for a time?

"For how long?" He asked.

Stephen caught his hand with the offending bread and laid it gently on the cot, a sad look overcoming his face.

"forever dear fellow. I have been demoralized, I fear; in Jack, that is. I have seen him through his most unkindly misfortunes, but he has overstepped the mark this time." His face was stony, and Bonden wished to be hearing anything else.

"I understand that you'll be disappointed," Stephen said, looking at him sadly.

"You plan to never return? I don’t understand. How did this come about? He didn't see me leave your room yesterday?."

His heart sped up. He hadn't been worried enough last night. Perhaps Stephen wished to be killed, his actions not being some grief filled haze delirium but deliberate.

"No, our secret is safe, dear."

He took Stephen's hand. "Then what did he do?"

Stephen stared at their hands intertwined. How was it even possible for him to tell Bonden? His pride bristled at the mere idea, to divulge his secrets. To tell him he could not fight back, he would think him weak or worse.

Heat seeped into his face, the memories flooding back

Jack, his friend, had - how he wished to relive the moment. He would obtain a more favorable outcome, and he would never detect this shame coursing through his veins. He pushed the thoughts away. What benefit would it bring if Bonden were aware? The outrage would drive Bonden to do something stupid.

"No, I can not say. It is better you not know."

Bonden stood, his face flushed.

So Jack had hurt the doctor. It was beyond question. If the rest of the crew were aware, a mutiny might likely occur. The only person they valued more than they respected their captain was their doctor.

He paced the room, looking from the solemn Stephen to the various items strewn about.

His only option was to try to comfort Stephen. He was no matinee, and he couldn't risk an extended stay in the brig if he was to be there for Stephen.

What had Jack done? Did he make an accusation against Stephen for a heinous act? Debased him in front of the guest during dinner? Surely, no matter how bad their agreements got, he would not lay hands on the doctor?

Regardless of what it was, it caused his doctor to throw himself over the ship's edge and now be willing to leave the only life he'd known for some years now. Stephen would have to be dismissed. Surely he considered that, and the captain approved?

"Very well.Then Jack agrees? On your departure?" He asked.

Stephen paled. "No, it will be desertion." He climbed out of his cot and rummaged through his drawers until he found a small pouch of coins. Desertion was a serious crime, and he wondered if he should have held his tongue. He produced a few pounds and held them out to Bonden. Bonden shook his head and motioned for Stephen to put them away.

"I will help you." He said.

Stephen studied him, his eyes hard.

"I can't ask that of you." His look softened. "You are too dear to me. I can not have you risk yourself. I will do this by myself. I have done similar things before it will be a trifle." He smiled and moved to take Bonden's hand. Bonden let him.

The ice Stephen was on was thin. He wished he never shared it with him. Now he must guard every word he said lest he give Stephen away. He would do it, of course. He could not refuse the doctor. Sill, His heart ached.

Finally, he admitted to Stephen, and now he must observe as he faded away from his life. There were a few days until they came to port. He would spend every available waking hour with Stephen and even try to spend his sleeping hours with him if the doctor allowed it.

"If you won't let me help you, then at least let me stay by your side till we reach port." He wasn't sure he could take no for an answer, but he would do the doctor’s binding.

Stephen laughed. The skin around his eyes smoothed out, and he pulled Bonden towards his cot. Bonden willingly followed. There were still hours until either of them were expected to be visible, and he couldn't think of a better way to make use of that time.