Always

Chapter XI. His light and salvation

Mattheo's POV

She was is shocked. I bet she didn't expect to be me outside her door when she opened it. I would bet too that I was the last person on earth she wanted to see right now, taking into account our last interaction. Just the memory of it made me cringe.

Fuck! I was such as asshole!

She was still staring at me. Eyes wide open and mouth agape, like if she wanted to say something but didn't know what or how to. Or maybe she was probably wondering if she should just slam the door in my face. I would not take that against her if she did! But then, slowly, so slowly, she released the edge of the door and took a few steps back in a silent invitation for me to step in.

Not giving her the chance to change her mind, I took a few steps forward and grabbed the edge of the wooden door, shutting it close and locking it, without breaking eye contact with her. I moved my eyes up and down her body, looking over the silk black robe she was wearing. Her chest was rising and falling in shallow breaths and I realized that she hadn't any bra on. Did she just open the fucking door like that without knowing who was on the other side? I could see the perfect shape of her breasts under the fabric and something twitched inside my pants.

Bloody hell! Not the time Mattheo! Not the time! I mutter to myself.

I missed her so fucking much. I wanted nothing more than to throw her down on her bed and fuck her into oblivion. Put her on edge just to stop right after. Make her squirm and beg. Make her scream my name until that was the only word her brain could recognize. Punish her so hard for these last few weeks, that she wouldn't be able to walk straight for a full month. I wanted to fill her so deeply, that other guys would smell my scent on her from a distance. I wanted to brand her as mine.

But we needed to talk. Really talk. I breathed deeply to calm the storming feelings inside of me. I darted my eyes to hers again and I felt her shudder at my gaze.

I recognized fear and sadness in her eyes, but there was also that look... That look I had seen so many times before me.

The absolute look of love and adoration.

Draco was right. It was there for anyone to see. Everyone but me, because I was so lost in my own grief and sorrow. Believing that my father was right and that I was not worthy of being loved, because it was not possible for anyone to love the darkness inside of me. But he was wrong. She did! She loved all the good – if there was some – and all the bad in me. I've found the light to my darkness, the other part of me, the day to my night and I'll be damned if I was going to let her go! She was mine and I was going to remember her that.

I sauntered towards her and all the air left my lungs when her scent hit my nostrils. She smelled like Spring. She smelled like the fields full of blooming flowers that surrounded Hogwarts in the springtime. I kept taking slow steps towards her, my eyes never leaving her and hers never leaving mine. I saw her body getting tense at the proximity and it hurt when she took three steps back, backing away from me and crossing her arms over her chest in a defense posture.

"What are you doing here?", she asked in a whisper.

"I want to talk to you..."

She shook her head, looking down. She barely could let the words out, like if she was out of breath.

"We have nothing to talk about."

I took two steps closer to her. So close now. I grazed down at her, heart pounding in my chest so hard I was sure she could hear it. I grabbed her chin and tilt her head up so she could look at me.