I, Lily, Nari. | Jeon Wonwoo |

• 4 •

17 Years Old

Jeon Wonwoo,
I don't know how to say this but, I do not deserve to be in this position. Wonwoo, I was very uncomfortable, not with you but with everything that was happening around me. It gives me the chills and made me feel anxious to be in this.

I am not saying I am not happy that I went to the same high school as you. Like, we are in our second year here in high school and I was doing fine knowing you were always with me. But the fact that you made everyone respect me is quite a lot. And the reason I am uncomfortable was because those 'respects' were not real.

The boys would still hit on me whenever you were not around. And they were after my body rather than me, myself. The girls sneered at me when I passed by the hallways with you, and they did that when you were not looking. Some of them even told me to stay away from you, but it is not my fault, the first thing you always did was pick me up from my house every morning and we would go to school together.

Then at school even if we were in different classes but you would always come to my classroom every time the bell rings for break, lunch and when school ends. There was no way anyone would harm me physically or verbally with your presence.

I remembered a day when a guy flirted with me inappropriately, you saw the whole thing and you flicked him on the forehead. That caused his nose to bleed and I do not know why, I was sure your finger flick wasn't strong enough and it was on the forehead, why would the result be in the nose?

Another day was when another guy got my number from somewhere I don't even know, maybe he was a hacker, or maybe he got it from my classmates, I never really gave anyone my phone number but I did not think too much about it. He messaged me some words that sounds soft and sweet and I responded normally, I would not let myself be drawn in some stranger's sweet words.

But suddenly after few hours he sent photos of him, not wearing anything.

My phone was not with me by that time because I was in the kitchen to cook my parents a meal, you were there too because we were doing some school works together and you decide to stay for dinner. You were about to help me wash the dishes when we finished our meal but I insisted you wait in my room, you did.

You looked furious when I entered my room after I finished washing the dishes, you were holding my phone close to your ears, I figured you were in a call. I remembered you were trying so hard not to scream over the phone but your tone was strong and mad.

"Don't you contact her ever again or I will make sure to break you," You said over your shaking breath, then it seemed like you were done with your call so you slammed my phone on my bed. I did not mind since it was only my bed.

I walked over to you and reached for your hand, I asked you what happened and you told me everything. I was so shocked and shook my head in disbelief. How could a guy turn from sweet to 'that' in a second? This is why I don't believe in any guys' sweet words, except for yours.

Since then no guys ever approached me whenever you were with me. They were afraid of you. Jeon Wonwoo, not only you were the smartest guy in the school but you were also the most feared by the boys, most loved by the girls. But that still does not apply to some guys as few or some still tried to touch me.

The girls threatened me to stay away from you but I never listened to them. They had nothing to scare me away. They would act all girly and flirty when they see you without me, they would give me fake smiles and pretend to act nice to me when you're beside me and they would verbally abuse me when you weren't there.

I was in despair, I did not deserve to be treated this way, it made me uncomfortable. I get it that you will protect my feelings, but why do I felt like it was not working? I was sad that I was still in pain but what healed me was the times I'm going to spend with you.

Whenever we go home after school, you would ask me how my day was. I would tell you it was okay and you would believe me. Well, that was not until you did it again one day, after school you took me to the flower field and you gazed through me, and you saw it again in my eyes. The pain,

"Han Nari," You said in a warned tone, I sighed and gave in.

"Wonwoo," And I let out everything that happened since day one up until now. You looked angry when I was done with my story, your fist was balled in anger. You suddenly held my shoulders tight,

"Nari, my Lily. Did you not trust me in this?" You asked, and even if sounds cannot be seen but I saw the betrayal and disappointment in your voice. Guilt washed over me when I hear it,

I looked down on the ground, "Mianhae. I believed in you, I believed you will protect me but it's not working. Some guys were still after me and the girls hurt me with their words. I couldn't bring myself to tell you this because I don't want you to worry. You've done so much for me as a bestfriend, I do not deserve you, Wonwoo."

You did not say anything, instead you leaned in and pressed your forehead against mine and closed your eyes, I did the same. Together in that position, with the flowers dancing with the wind and the sun slowly setting, we both knew all we need to do is empty our minds, we both knew you didn't need to say anything because it was a waste of time to argue and I knew what you were going to say.

"I don't want to lose you, Nari. You are my first and only friend,"