The story of two secret lovers

Chapter 8

Olivia:

"Molly, you can't make me." It's been a week since mine and Ella's iceskating endevear, and the leaves pile up on the pavement, crunching beneath our footsteps. Molly smiles at me, although it's more of a grimace through the bitter cold.
"Of course I can't. But you want to be with her, right? And how are you meant to know if you don't even try!"
I shake my head, my thoughts clouded with the feeling of her hand in mine and the distance between our faces on that rink.
"Yeah, but I can't ruin it all. Plus, when would I even do it, it's not like I could ever get her alo-"

"Olivia!" Ella's arms suddenly fling around my shoulders from behind, making me jump. I look behind me to her voice, startled by our proximity. I laugh a little nervously, feeling my cheeks heat up.
"Ella." She moves around me, walking next to me.
"Hi, Molly! Oh, Hazel! I need to talk to you more about Genshin! I got Scaramouche!" Suddenly, she's rushed over to Hazel's side, talking animatedly about her new achievements. I turn to Molly, trying to steady my breathing and racing heart.

"God..." I laugh a little, looking at Ella as she talks to Hazel, overcome with nerves and butterflies that force a smile to my face. "I... can we walk a bit behind?" Molly nods, slowing our pace slightly for a few moments until we're a good distance behind.
"I... I swear I'm in love. I can't deal with it much longer. I look at her and... God... Should I tell her? And before you say yes don't say that just because that's what everyone says. Think about it, okay? Genuinely. I don't care if you think it wouldn't be weird or thay you want the drama or-"
"Yes."
"That you think I should be hones-"
"Yes."
"Huh?" I realise that my gaze has been trained on the pavement as I walk, so I look up to meet her gaze again. I move my arms nervously at my side, filled with the jittery movements from the cold.

She sighs, placing her hands on both my shoulders so she holds me still, looking at her.
"Yes. Olivia I don't think you realise how obvious you both are. You're practically flirting, and it's so clear to everyone that it's only a matter of time."
I inhale sharply, staring into her face for some sort of confirmation.
"Are you sure?" I ask, looking back down to the floor.
"Yes. You've liked her for years, Olivia. Look, I can't say I can understand exactly how you feel, but I've watched enough shows to know how painful it should be. Can you even be happy in this friendship without any love with it? Or is it not worth it?"

Can you even be happy? Of course Molly's right, and I know she is, like always. I sigh, looking back to her, filled with excitement and anxiety simultaneously at the prospect.
"What if she rejects me?" I say quickly, my voice tripping with the haste. "What if, what if she doesn't like me. What if she's playing me? I don't think I could lose her, not for real, not the friend too. I..." My eyes begin to water and I sigh, wiping my eyes quickly, taking a step forward. I glance towards their distant figures for a second, looking back to Molly.
"I'm scared, Molly. No, I'm terrified."

She grabs my hand, holding it in her own, looking into my face.
"Stop overthinking it! Just tell her, okay? Catch up to them, then whenever you're ready, you tell her, okay?"

I glance back to Ella, staring at her hand as it gestures towards Hazel with enthusiasm, and it's like I'm there again, on that rink, hand-in-hand, spinning and twirling around the rink in an endless circle. And nothing mattered, not when I had her attention, or her affection, and her gaze met mine, brown eyes to green, and all that there was was both of us, together. And it's a painful longing, looking after her, hoping that she'll notice me, maybe feel the same way, and knowing it can't happen - no - that it won't happen.

I nod, swallowing the tears that threaten to overflow, and staring blankly to stop my eyes watering. No, I can't say it. I'll wait for her, forever, endlessly, until she tells me she likes me, until she initiates it.

Just... not me.