22. Don't stop.

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JUNE 2, 2018 — WAKANDA — BUCKY

Once again, I'm unable to fall asleep because I'm thinking about Réa.

The whole time we were walking, I kept wanting to take her hand or put my arm around her, especially when we were on the path and kept lightly bumping into each other. I'm sure she could hear my heartbeat skyrocket every time that happened; I'd tried to see if hers did, too, but couldn't hear anything over the pounding of mine.

'Again, you can't think of her this way,' I tell myself.

'She's mine,' that primal part of me that awakened earlier again declares.

'Not mine,' I think. 'But I wish she was...that she could be.'

Unbidden, the images that flashed through my mind earlier return, and my body instantly reacts.

'For Christ's sake, she's not yours and you can't have her, so get a hold of yourself!' I chastise myself.

My mind doesn't listen; instead, it fixates on the image of my hands on her back while she's in my lap, and I grow even harder.

I try to think about baseball, and multiplication tables, and anything else at all, but the more I try to turn my mind away from that image, the more it focuses on it.

'Fuck it,' I eventually think. 'I'm already damned for the things I've done; I may as well add jacking to an angel to the list.'

I shove my boxer briefs down and grip my cock. As soon as I close my hand around my length, my mind conjures up a whole scenario to go with the image of Réa astride me; I give in and let it have free rein as I slowly stroke myself.

Réa and I are in the clearing; she's looking at the fireflies, and I'm looking at her.

"They're beautiful," she says. "I've seen fireflies at the compound, but never like this." She pauses and slowly spins, taking in the sight.

"Yeah...beautiful," I say, my gaze locked on her.

Suddenly, the fireflies move in unison; they swirl around Réa like a cyclone before circling us both. They make two loops around us, and then scatter into the night, while she and I stand in stunned silence.

"Well, that was...something," I finally say.

"Yeah, it was," she replies. "Well," she continues after a long moment, "I guess we should head back."

I nod, and we make our way back to the palace. Again, I insist on walking her to her door, and again, we both linger in the hall.

"Thank you, again, for keeping me company," she says.

"You're welcome. Thank you, again, for letting me," I reply.

Just like last time, our gazes meet and hold, and I again feel that magnetic pull. I take a step toward her, closing the miniscule distance between us, and cup her cheek with my right hand. She leans into the touch, then turns her head and places a kiss to the center of my palm.

Her eyes widen and she steps back.

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't ha—"

I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her against me.

"Don't apologize, Réa."

I start to lift my vibranium hand to her cheek, but stop before I touch her.

'I shouldn—'

My thought disappears as she places her hand over mine and moves it to her cheek.

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