Shades of Gold | L'Esperance 2

3 - Glass Half Full

"Don't waste my time."

It kept ringing through my mind like a fly. My stomach knots as she watches me gather my laptop into my bag. Belittling, embarrassing— nothing in the English language could encapsulate the feelings I have in this exact moment.
I walk out into the car park and lock myself inside my Lexus, tears brimming on the rim of my eyes.
Don't cry. Don't cry.
That piece of crap said I wasted her time. When she gets fired for wasting seventeen years here, I will be the one to make her shame.

No.

"Rule one: Stop and breathe." I remind myself. I comply and draw in a full breath, expelling it moments later. I open my eyes and start the engine. I had been taking therapy after what happened seven years ago. Aunt Jean had sent me abroad for making trouble and emitted me into therapy as a plus. If that was the only thing I'd be grateful for from her, it was that.

I head off the bumpy curb and into traffic when a call startles me.
"Hello?"

"Aye gyal what yuh doin' dey?"

Theresa.

"Ah dey." I reply.

Even if I lived in Greenz my entire life, it still felt hella awkward to talk in creole. Jean always told me that I shouldn't be speaking like a 'country bookie', and I'd alway listen, but there's a time when you eventually stop caring that you sound like a foreigner in your own island.

I take a risk to look at her while still on the road. All that was there was a black bonnet.

"Yuh free tonight? Ah need yuh to come somewhere wid meh."

Perfect timing. I did not want to spend my day off relaxing in my veranda, sipping on a glass of wine watching the sun set. Or maybe I did— but I'd anything for my sister. It's the least I could do after all I put her though.
Either way it was a good way to get my mind off of that earlier situation.

"Yeah, sure. What time though, I gotta send some emails and prep my script for tomorrow evening." I say, pulling into the driveway. The same villa that held secrets I wouldn't have ever known.

"Five- thirty." She replies between breaks.
Flo Internet was laggy as hell.

"Alright, I'll see you then, T."

I drop my bag on the couch as I get in, and get behind the counter, skimming my fingers through the bottles on the top.
I bite my lip. All out of rum. Amazin Chocolate Liquor will have to do for today. The drink slides down my throat effortlessly.
I leave the glass half full, flipping my tired self on the leather sofa.

Liquor never disappoints.

———

Theresa's POV

"No mami, ah tell yuh get di white crib! Diz di last one in stock!" I fume, pressing the phone to my ear.
"Well ah doh see nuttin' like that dey. Why does di colour matter?!"
I roll my eyes and continue stirring the pot. Stew chicken looks back at me with a contempt look on its face.
The colour didn't really matter if you really looked at it— but overall it looked prettier. Both mami and Ray tried convincing me that 1. It was way too early to buy a crib and 2. The color didn't matter.
Aesthetic does matter, and the white ones always go out of stock first. They'll never understand. It'll look so pretty for the girl.
I draw in a deep breath. "Just forget it. I'll talk to allyuh later. Bye."

To add on to more of my burden, the speak of the devil comes in. He's been going out a lot. "Hey, T."

"Don't hey me, Mista Man. Don't do it." I snap, my hand waving the wooden spoon. If only ah coulda lash him wid it. "Ah tell yuh to buy di crib and allyuh doh pay no attention to me AT ALL."

"Wha—"

I slap the chicken down on the plate with a resentment, against the rice and callaloo. These people just get on my nerves.

"Well who tell yuh ah want white crib? It's you!" He says back.
"Yes! It's me! I don't want my baby to sleep inna depressing bed!"

"So is it not my baby too?? This arguement is so foolish." Ray rubs his head as he sits adjacent to me. "Ah just get here and yuh making commotion."

This man really knows how to push my buttons. I breathe in and out trying not to slap the shit out of him. He says it's too early for a crib, it's too early to think it's a girl— enough!

I shove a fork-full of rice into my mouth and swallow it while without a second thought. "I'm going with my sister this evening."

"Where?"

"Laluna in St. George's, It's our favourite spot."

He nods and that tells me all I need to know.