Shades of Gold | L'Esperance 2

7 - Fidelity

Bella Rosa

I sit in the canary yellow seat, the cold leather melts into my skin. It's empty in here. I don't even know why I'm here in the first place. Theresa insists on getting her husband to help me with my supposed 'problem'.

I'm distracted by my phone until Ray walks in. He stops as I look up. In that moment, everything around us froze, and an unexplainable feeling swells up inside of me.

He had grown a small stubble on his chin, and his hair was in the classic fade. He's still as youthful as ever, while I....I moved along with time.

I break our eye contact immediately and fiddle with my phone.
"Bella Rosa."

There was something about the way his voice said my name. The syllables rolled off his tongue with ease.

"Ray." I reply. "You can cut the formalities."

"I'm only here because my wife asked me to help you out. Im only doing this for her family." He said sharply.

A brief awkward silence hangs in the air.

"So.." He draws in a deep breath. "What's going on?"
I look at him from under my eyes, then lift my head so we're both on eye level.

Nothing.

Nothings going on.

The air shifted with his presence. It's tight, suffocating. But for some reason I didn't have it in me to leave.
"Theresa says I have a problem." I begin. "I don't think I do."

"So you believe she's exaggerating?"

"Yes."

"Are you calling my wife a liar?" He shoots back.

I frown. "You told me to keep it strictly professional, I believe you should do the same too, Mister St.Lawrence."

Ray looks away and clears his throat. "Apologies."

As our first session went on, none of us could directly look at each other in the eye..well, I couldn't. He seemed unfazed. It seemed like throughout these ten years, Ray had matured while I stayed stagnant in my old ways.
Did he still think the same of me after all this time?

~

3 weeks later

Just like that first meeting, we maintained professionalism, and an unspoken rule hung at the doorpost every time we walked into that room; we don't speak of the past, we don't think about it, because once you let any hint of it creep in, it will start a chain reaction..and like the nursery rhyme goes:

We all fall down.

Until today.

We sat down like usual, he'd track my habits, give me tips and applaud me if I kept my sober streak.
Ray had opened up like a clamshell, his beautiful personality cracking open like a pearl.  He no longer looked at me like I was the source of all the worlds problems.

Like the old him was back only for a second.

And I felt good too. It wasn't then until I realized how dependent I was on alcohol. He'd explain to me that it was some sort of coping mechanism I had after all I'd been though, and how it wasn't my fault.

"Is that the same one you had before?" He asked.

I contort my face in confusion then look down at the subject. The jean jacket.

"Yeah, it is!" I chuckle.

I kept it all these years. There's certain articles of clothing I never want to let go.

Certain people too.

A smile presses on his lips. "I'm surprised it still fit yuh."

I nudge him on his shoulder. "Shut up!"

Suddenly, he reaches for something in his pocket. He pulls out small white box, Pandora written in black bold letters.

He puts it on the table. "Remember that bracelet I got you.. for your 15th birthday?"

Memories flash through my mind like a projector. "Yeah, why?"

I reach out and pull the lid off. My eyes widen at the sight of a silver flower charm. A charm. Made for my bracelet. That Ray gave me.

But why now?

"You may be asking why now. I found it in the back of a drawer. I hadn't realized that I didn't give it to you."

That surge of unexplainable feelings bubble back up to the surface. This feels wrong.

"You should be giving this to Theresa.." I stutter.

He gets up, holding the charm in his hands.
"It's a custom made charm. You never give a gift to someone without the intended purpose attached to it."

Attached....feelings?

Before i could even think, he pulls up my sleeve and attaches the charm onto the bracelet. My stomach drops as his body heat radiates off. We hadn't been so close in proximity since..

My heart is pulsating harder and my eyes begin to sting.

I stop to look up at him and realize he's looking at me. Ray's eyes are still the same brown eyes.

I blink in hesitation, but gentle and firm kissed graced my lips.

A rush of heat sweeps through my body and my mind goes blank. My lips latch onto his and I can't bring myself to let go.

He holds my chin and sweeps his thumb across my cheek. I pull back and look at him.

This time, he looks at me, not with failed expectation or contempt..but with a thread of lust.

Ray weaves my jacket off, and the cool breeze saws through my shirt. His shirt had flown off almost instantly. He was so much more mature in more ways than one.
My breathing has laboured and he hasn't even done anything yet.
Maybe I didn't need counselling. I need him.