I Can Save Your Life (Kellin Quinn fan fiction)

Chapter 5

ELL'S POV

I couldn't control my voice. I tried to stay calm and not break down, but my plan failed after I began to speak.

"Kellin..." I paused, gasping for air.

"What's happening?"

I couldn't make any noise come out of my mouth. I was stuck. I hung up in a panic, I didn't now what else to do. The phone fell to to the floor as it slowly slipped out my hand. I could feel the emotion pouring out of me with every tear that slowly fell. There was too much happening all at once. I sat there in that tub, emotionless and motionless. I was numb. The feeling of pain overwhelmed me, setting my heart into overdrive.

For a minute, this all seemed unreal. It felt as if I was in a dream, or a nightmare. And that I was about to wake up to find my life normal again. Oh, how great that would be. But, unfortunately, it was not the truth. My sister is dead, and I just scared away the only important person in my life. 

After maybe 10 minutes of sitting in silence and reflection, I tried to stand up. My legs shook uncontrollably making it almost impossible to step out of the tub. There was blood everywhere, it sickened me. I turned on the shower water to wash it all away. If only I could do that with my life - wash all of the problems away. I rushed over to the sink trying not to get any blood on the floor, and then grabbed the green towel hanging next to it. A stinging sensation ran up my forearm as I wrapped the towel around the still flooding cuts. My shaking hands struggled to open the drawer that contains the bandages.

It's nothing new. I know, it's pretty sad, but I'm used to most of this. My arms are covered with the scars that represent every weak moment I've had, every moment of distress, every moment of breakdown, every moment of not being able to take any more. It's all the same. 

The routine began when I pulled out the white bandages from the drawer under the sink and began to wrap them around my arm. The blood sunk through the previously white bandages, painting them red. I kept wrapping until all was covered. I then cleaned up the blood covered sink and through away the now ruined towel. Everything was fixed, and I walked down the stairs to get to my room. I picked up the phone and stared at it for a minute, debating on whether or not I should call Kellin back. I closed my eyes to think, but found myself in deep sleep only a few moments later. 

I woke up to find 6 missed calls and 3 new texts. They were all from Kellin.