Eric Coulter Oneshots

I hate you. pt.2(T.W. mentions of SA)

It has been 8 months.  8 months of hurt. Everyone who knows say to give it time.  That the hurt will lessen. If anything it has gotten worse. It has gotten so bad I requested for me to be relocated for 6 months on the wall.  And that is coming due today.  I sighed as I zipped up my duffle and looked around the small room.

Since I am a high leader I got a room to myself.  It was smaller than 12×12.  It fit a bunkbed/desk combo with a dresser which was really a 2 drawer nightstand. I threw my bag over my shoulder as I walked out.

I walked to the black truck waiting for me.  Max wrote saying he'd have someone drive to pick me up. Saying that a leader shouldn't ride the train home like a common dauntless. Not that I minded.  I enjoy their company a lot. They were kind out here. 

I opened the door then slammed it shut as I came face to face with Eric. I walked away towards the tracks.

"Please. Don't make a scene.'' Eric all but demanded as I stopped at his words.   I sighed deeply and turned to him.

He hasn't changed much.  Just his hair a little longer and it seems like his eyes were tired.  He had dark bags under his eyes and his eyes were slightly red. He was still beautiful. My heart clenched.  I walked back without a word and threw my bag in the bed of the truck. I climbed in as I heard him sigh. We had a 20 minute drive and I don't plan on talking.

"Enjoy your time away?'' He asked as he pulled away from the dorm.  I bit my lip and looked out the window.  Really with the small talk?

''When will you forgive me?'' He asked after about 5 minutes of silence. Again.  I didn't speak.

"Please. Y/N.  It was a mistake.'' He pleaded again.  I haven't spoke to him since that night in the gym. I don't plan on it ever again.

''What can i do to fix this.  To fix us?" He reached over and tried to grab my hand and i yanked away from him.  I pressed against the door.  If it ever opened ajar I'd fall out.

"Fine. You don't want to talk.  You can listen.'' He grunted and slowed the truck to a side road that didn't have anyone one on it. 

''Yes I cheated on you. Yes I took an amity transfer home and I fucked her in our bed. I did all of that. But here is the thing you don't know. I was drugged.  By that Amity transfer.'' I looked at him.  His face was almost ashamed.

"What do you mean?'' I whispered. 

''She came over with some tea.  She said you had requested it.  She said she wanted to make sure you would like it and made me a batch for me to taste.  I'd drink poison just to make sure it was good enough for you. After I drank some.  I don't remember really anything.  That is why I was so hurt when you threw this at me.'' He said and pulled out a chain that held my engagement ring on.  My broken heart fluttered.

"When you acted like you didn't know.'' I trailed off quietly.

"I truly didn't.  I woke up maybe a half hour before that.  Competely disoriented.  I felt hung over. She was gone along with the tea. It took me and Max almost a month to figure out what had happened. We found the tea after your threw her out.  It was a strain of the peace serum.  It had been motified to be kind of an accelerated hormone charged strain.  It basically turns anyone around you the most desired person you have ever met and you basically fuck them until it leaves your system.  But there are side affects.  Like me.  I honestly though she was your.  I remember calling out your name. But I still don't remember the act. It took me almost 6 months of working with a therapist to feel like I wasn't dirty.'' Eric explained.  I sat there for a while and just stared. 

I had gotten it all wrong. I said things that I didn't truly mean.  I told him i hated him.  He had been taken advantage of.  He had been raped. I was so mean to him.  Is that why Max looked at me with such regret.  Had he known at that time. That was why Eric was so upset.  I was mean to him.

''Eric.  I'm- I'm so sorry. I have no words.  To describe how I am feeling.  And how you must have felt.'' I said in a small voice but it hung heavily in the space between us.

''I know what it seemed like.  I would have reacted the same.  Or worse.  I'd probably would have killed him.  For you to throw her out of dauntless was mercy. I really sorry that it took me so long to come to terms with everything.  I was a mess that first month.  I felt like I was less than a man.  Because I was raped.  Men don't get raped.  Especially a powerful man.  Or so I thought." Eric said almost grimly.

"Eric.  I don't know what to say.  I am so sorry that happened? I am so sorry for leaving you alone through all of that. I was awful to you.  God.  You must hate me. I know I do right now.'' I said my heart breaking for Eric.  For the man I love.  The broken man that I left in the time of need.

"The last thing I do is hate you.  I love you more than anything. That never changed.'' He said and grabbed my hand.

''Will you ever forgive me?'' I asked feeling a tear run down my face.  He reached forward and gently brushed it away. I leaned my face into his warm hand.

"There is nothing to forgive. Just come home?'' He asked. I almost cringed.

"How about we just completely start over.  A new apartment.   A new love.  A new life?'' I said looking down at my ring.

"I can get behind that." He leaned forward and laid a soft kiss on my lips.  I deepened the kiss placing both hands on his face.

I pulled back slighty and he kissed my nose.  Just like always.  I smiled feeling content for the first time in months.  He is my home.  I pulled away and twined my fingers with his after he started the car.  The warm air blowing into the cold car.  I didn't even realize it was really cold until now.

"Oh.  I think this belongs to you." He said and pulled on the chain. It released the back and he threaded my ring across it and into his hand. He placed it back on my finger. 

He brought it up and kissed it on my finger.  He did this often and I smiled. Just like old times.  This is my Eric. The one who is scary and mean to everyone else.  But to me is soft and kind. The one who has gone through trauma his whole life.  But now he is moving past it.

He is becoming the man who I love and contiune to love.  I pulled his hand onto my lap. And all but cuddled against his arm.  I looked up at him and he had a small content smile on his face. 

"I love you." I whispered and he turned to me slightly.

"I love you." He said and squeezed my hand as he looked back at the road.

I sighed as I felt content watching the buildings fly by.  I got my Eric back.