secret santa with hefc!

for :: IvaVoynara !!

white noise (i hear you, i feel you) -- jihan

-- 🍣

the first memory joshua had kept away in his head was with him.

well, not really. the first memory joshua had kept away in his brain was him and his dad grabbing fast food for lunch after a doctor's appointment. he'd gotten his first big boy shot that day; he'd cried, but all tears had been forgotten when he bit into his first chicken nugget and smiled brightly up at his dad. "my brave boy," his dad had murmured with a small smile, patting his head before nudging him to eat some more. it was one of his favorite summer memories. which was high praise, considering he'd hated that summer.

it was the summer he'd been away from him.

a whole summer. six whole weeks, weeks in which he had been flown to los angeles and forced to pretend he wasn't dying every minute he wasn't with him. even at five years old he controlled his every breathing movement.

when joshua returned at the end of the summer, his first thought was to run to his house and burst through the door to surprise him because he missed him that much. but he never got to, because he came rushing into his room before he could remove his shoes, trapping him in a tight hug and causing the both of them to fall backwards on joshua's bed. "shua!"

joshua broke, not even giving himself a moment to catch his bearing before hugging back, even tighter.

"jeonghan."

highschool wasn't horrible. joshua was passing (exceeding, if he was honest), everyone in his year pretty much kept to themselves, and best of all, he had jeonghan.

"yo." jeonghan fell into the seat behind him. "fatou said that nayeon said that wheein wants to know if you're free tonight." he was eating his favorite snack, sausages wrapped in rice cakes. joshua had never seen him go a day without the delicacy since the day jeonghan's dad introduced it to them on jeoghan's 8th birthday.

"oh." joshua watched jeonghan stick his fork back into his lunch dish and produce another piece of sotteok.

"oh? just oh? dude, if wheein was asking if i was free tonight i'd freak," jeonghan baffled, chewing loudly. a speck was stuck to the side of his mouth. joshua's eyes trained on it, barely hearing what was coming out of the other's mouth. "you always reject girls when they ask you out. if you dated wheein, and i dated nayeon, and we got married later on, wouldn't it be like that one drama seungcheol is always talking about? the one where the best friends got married to the other best friends?"

"you're already thinking about marriage? we're barely through our second year of highschool," joshua mused, laughing when jeonghan hurriedly tried to backtrack.

jeonghan collapsed on his table, face squished on his arm as he looked up at joshua with what resembled awe. "man, you are so cool. girls love you, guys wanna be you."

i wanna be with you, though.

joshua laughed, sneaking his hand across the table to grab the utensil in the dish. "you jealous?"

"very," jeonghan pouted. "i want a cute girlfriend."

joshua tightened his grip on the fork.