Unwanted Affection (UNDER EDITING)

11

"Nothing?" I watch the girl play with her hair as she looks at me with confusion on her face. I scrunch my eyebrows trying to hide the fact that I'm upset.

"That's a good one!" I try to laugh it off but when I look up she has a guilty look on her face. And I tighten up my lips holding back my words.

"Well, I don't mean nothing I mean we're still friends right-" the girl puts a stiff smile on her face trying to grab my hand but I pull back.

"So you used me?" I asked her with a sour tone in my voice. I feel led on, I know I said I didn't mind being used. I mean, I don't if it's by her, but damn I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt.

"Oh come on, I didn't use you, you willing ate my p-" I cut the girl off with a deep sigh. I don't wanna hear no more, my eyes are starting to water. I feel so rejected.

I lean from the kitchen counter before starting to make my exit. I can't even look at her right now.

"W-wait, Selvi don't go, we can talk this out!" my girl rushes to grab me but it's too late. I move my body away from her, before opening the door.

"I promise we'll talk later, I just don't want to talk when I'm mad."
I leave out those last words, making it clear that I'm hurt.
—
D

Damn, I fucked up really bad. Like super bad.

I don't even know what I was thinking, I mean clearly me and him both want something with each other. But I don't think I want a relationship at the moment.

Then again, I love the way he looked up at me like I was his everything. Like a lovesick fool, like he wanted to marry me at that exact moment.

A guy has never looked at me like that before during an intimate moment. Like he wants to devour my soul. It kinda turns me on, but it's also kind of scary.

And not even going to start about my crazy ass ex. I just don't want Selvi to go through all that trouble. With that crazy message being sent to my door, he got a new phone number just to blow me up and threaten me.

Damn, my best eater bout to cut me off. I feel like shit. Like I made a mistake of some kind.

Do I want to date him or am I just wanting the attention? This is why I said what I said.

I didn't want to hurt him by saying "Oh yes we can start dating!" Then turn around and lose interest right after. I ended up hurting him anyways but damn it's better this way.

I'll just take a nap. But this guilty feeling will go away.
—
S

As soon as I got home I ended up sobbing like the pussy bitch I am. I just feel so hurt, I like her so much, maybe even love.

I try to wipe my tears as I slide down the door. Still choking on my tears I take out my phone from my back pocket and look at the picture secretly took of her having a mental breakdown last weekend.

She looks so pretty when she cries. I should feel bad about this. Taking pictures of her, watching her while she works, taking the straw she used, and saving it for personal use. I SHOULD feel bad.

But I don't, because it's love. I laugh to myself before getting up off the floor and walking towards my room. Instead of being sad, I should be happy that my goddess even allowed me to taste her! So sweet and salty, it's just so.. HER!

When I finally make it to my room, I jump on my bed while hugging my plushie and start to kick my feet. I can't stop smiling as I remember the moment, her lewd facial expressions are to DIE for. The way she jolts after a slap to the thigh.

Oh my gosh, I'm in total love for sure! I'll make sure she falls in love with me too..

She will.
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Life has been kicking me in the ass, so please bear wit me yall <3

Thanks for reading and voting you guys! It's been giving me courage!