It all never fucking happened (Byler)

A/N + Chapter one : Lost fault

A/N: A playlist will be made under the account on Spotify: Miles(stuck in the 80s) that should have 5 or 6 songs per chapter and songs will be published as the story goes on. Love is appreciated through comments along with constructive which is greatly appreciated. Do not and I repeat do not be afraid to be harsh.

TW: Some heavy topics, harsh language, and a slight bit of spice that will be continued in the next chapter (it's not byler spice yet, though. Don't get too excited 💀) Ultimately TV-14
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Skates would run along the smooth side of slightly scraped floor, creating a not-so-pleasant noise that would slowly repeat in cycles. Top songs of this year would be blasting and bouncing back and forth between the confined area of the skate rink. Moisture from the air would make you feel even more confined. In everything around me, all I could think was, "Why the hell would someone want to be here?"
I found myself pulled back to earth by a tap on my shoulder by El as she began to ramble about how she comes here so often for parties and shit. I would stop every so often for small meaningless replies. My eyes wondered to hers as the annoyance settled as sort of on going. She truly was my best friend, no matter how bad I sound, it's just not the same. She sends me all these letters and it's nice to hear about, but this whole relationship feels like it should have ended before it started. Then my eyes wondered to Will as his expression felt like a confirmation of everything having changed. We should have been laughing and talking about new video games and Dungeons and Dragons, it wasn't how it was supposed to be. We settled on a bench as shifted in my seat. You would think a new place would invest in some cushions.

"Oh I forgot, you need socks," And another snap as I looked back at El almost for a refresher on what she had said.

"Oh, Shit," it was enough of a reply for her to know I at least somewhat cared, though I did feel a rain of guilt trickle down every so often to just remember that this didn't mean anything. No matter how hard I pretend or how long, it never will be. That may just be the scariest shit ever.

"They sell them at the counter," Will. He said it as he pointed in the direction of a woman who looked quite sick of her job, handing out shoes and socks that would then be returned approximately two minutes later for a new size. I may have mumbled and okay back to him before walking off and taking a quick double take. Somehow the sight of him is still so new and different and disturbingly noticeable, even.

As I approached the counter and began to ask in a voice that almost didn't sound like myself to the girl, a group of teenager's, around my age if I had to guess, walked in and already seemed to be acting a bit too confident. One girl I wished I could punch in the face just by taking a look at her, expensive, bright and trendy clothes that she must've bought with daddy's money.

I must've audibly scoffed or something like that because I was met with a "I know, right?" From the girl. She then placed socks on the counter that were noticeably different from the other pairs people were wearing, "Thought you seemed like the type to try to stand out." And then I was met with the previous idea that everyone here is at least somewhat an asshole.
Still, I reproached Will and El and decided to make a stupid excuse of asking for the color. I thought back to it and remembered she must've been referring to my tacky, tourist outfit. It truly wasn't my fault in the slightest, though, the glasses and the hat definitely were. I had spilled something on me at the airport and had to get a new shirt and shorts and just decided it would be better to blend in then stand out, I clearly did the exact opposite.

Once I got on my feet we would skater around in circles as I would mutter busy complaints of not knowing how to do it. Everything a girl would want to hear. I had heard it once from my dinner table. A dinner wear both Nancy and my mom felt so offended by his word's that they couldn't stand to be next to him. I left shortly after because, still, I knew it was wrong.
He had said that the best way to keep a lady satisfied is by having her think she's teaching you something new. They will get bored of you if you don't and want to feel useful. That's the way they cook and clean and don't get jobs much.
That's the way I could recall it.
It felt awful being next to El and holding hands with her even for those short moments. She would slowly caress my knuckle and it gave me the bad kind of goosebumps, the ones you get if you were to think of a family member touching you. Yet that thought would go for most any girl, so I concluded that I had to have just been flustered or however they describe it in those movies. Those movies when the girl meets this older guy and they're forbidden for getting married because truly they shouldn't be. I had always found it weird, how the law was never enforced. Those movies where they are so deadly in love that they can't even focus on others. Those movies that make me sick to my stomach how I've never felt it with her yet we're still doing this shit.