My Will To Live

Epilouge

The stadium is filled with so many fans. The atmosphere is electric. Alice and I are here too, all dressed up in our outfits, posters and glow sticks already on stand by. We look like we're absolutely crazy, but neither of us care. My best friend, Georgia, grins at me from my other side. We can't wait.

I'm still with Beatrice and Rob. They've kept to their promise. Of course, they punish me when I'm wrong, but never like my so called parents. If I do something wrong it's probably getting grounded and an extremely long lecture. Nothing like Mother or Father. Both have been taken into custody, and I haven't heard from either of them. Not that I want to, anyway.

I've been going to therapy, along with Alice. At first I was really resistant to the idea-the thought of spilling out all my deepest darkest thoughts to a stranger freaked me out-but it's certainly been helping. I've had to move, too. I go to a different school now. I don't live near Nashville anymore, but that's okay. Taylor doesn't, either.

I still love Taylor as much as I did when I was younger. I'm 16 now, but with all I've gone through, I always feel much older. I haven't seen or met Taylor face to face since 3 years ago, but that's alright too. I trust that one day her promise will come true. Maybe tonight.

I met Georgia when I changed schools. At first, we bonded over our love of Taylor but then it turned out that we had more in common. Georgia is also being fostered. Her mother neglected her after her father died. She also wants to be a writer when she grows up.

The opening notes to Welcome To New York play and Georgia, Alice and I scream simultaneously. We light up our glow sticks and wave our posters in the air as the lights come on and Taylor's band and dancers appear on stage.

Beatrice and Rob gave me 1989 Tour concert tickets as my birthday present this year. They also gave me two extra tickets so I could take two other friends with me. I chose Alice, my sister and best friend, as well as Georgia, also my best friend.

Taylor appears on stage now, and the three of us scream even louder. There she is, in all her glory, her hair now cut into a short bob as she starts to sing. We scream the lyrics along with her.

This is probably one of the happiest nights of my life.

There have been many happy moments ever since Beatrice and Rob first fostered me. Sometimes there isn't, but I'm beginning to be okay with that too. I don't have to be perfect. I just have to be me, and that's enough.

Halfway through the concert someone taps me on my shoulder, so I turn and look. A middle-aged blonde woman smiles at me. It's Andrea, better known as Mama Swift!

"You guys have been dancing your heart out since the beginning of the concert!" She yells above the music. The three of us nod excitedly.

"Taylor would love to meet you!" She continues.

"You girls are invited to Loft 89 to hang out with Taylor after the concert!" The three of us scream. I know that Georgia and Alice are fangirling. And me? I'm excited because I get to see Taylor again, and have her promise fulfilled.

After the concert we meet in a group of about 30 or so fans, all excitedly chatting with each other. We have to walk through what seems like a winding labyrinth to get to Loft 89. An official looking woman rattles off a long list of rules, but I'm barely listening. I'm excited to see Taylor again!

A small fear starts at the pit of my stomach. What if she doesn't remember me? What if she's changed and she hates me now?

I quell it quickly. The woman finishes, and everyone rushes in excitedly. I'm excited too. There's food available, but none of us dare to eat. We're all a mixture of nervousness and excitement. Eating can wait.

"Let's go to the photo booth!" Georgia says. Alice nods her head enthusiastically.

"Alright!" I reply.

We hurry over to the photo booth and snap a few pictures. Just as we're coming out, we hear loud shrieks from the other fans in the room. Taylor is here!

Georgia, Alice and I wait our turn near the back of the room, all of us a little too shy to interact with other fans. I'm just talking to Georgia and Alice when I feel a tap on my shoulder. Georgia's mouth widens into an 'o' as Alice's grin widens.

"Thought I'd find you here." Says a familiar voice. I turn around.

"Taylor!"

She opens her arms and I don't hesitate. I hug her right back.

"You look well." She says quietly, so only I can hear. I nod, too choked up to say a word. Then I remember. Alice and Georgia!

"Taylor, this is my best friend Georgia. She loves you to bits. And you remember Alice, right?" Taylor smiles and embraces a shaking(and slightly tearing) Georgia, before turning around and embracing a grinning Alice. I think she says something to each of them too, but I can't hear it.

"Want me to sign something?" She asks.

"Yeah!" Georgia says at once. We all pull out our individual copies of 1989 and Taylor signs them with a flourish. Afterwards we take a couple of pictures. All too soon the official looking woman says that Taylor must leave soon. She says goodbye to several fans, and then turns to me.

"Take care, Margie. I know I may not always be there for you but my music always will be."

"I know."

"I don't think this will be our last encounter. I'm sure in the future we'll meet again. I hope so, you have such a bright future ahead of you, and you deserve to be happy.I want you to know that. I'll see you around then, Margie."

Afterwards she's gone, and Georgia, Alice and I start to freak out over meeting Taylor. In my heart, I know Taylor's right. I do have a bright future.  I do deserve to be happy.

And who knows, maybe we will meet again in the future. But these things only time will tell.

And only time will heal old wounds.

And one day I'll be okay again.

But for now, I'm just taking things one at a time, step by step. I'm learning to accept my flaws. I'm learning to accept myself.

And you know what? I'm enough. I am definitely, a 113%, enough.