Time of Your Life - Green Day

This Ledge I'm on

Berkeley, August 1988

Billie Joe's POV

One morning, Mike, Constance and I were hanging out at one of the less shitty diners in Berkeley for a late breakfast but the entire time, Constance was just hunched over in the corner of the booth. Her eyes were darting around all over the place and she was panting like a dog.

"Con?... Uh, Con?... Constance?," Mike tapped her on the shoulder.

She whirled around like she'd just been yanked off a rollercoaster. She was fully shaking, her eyes looked like they'd just been pulled out of another dimension.

"Uh, we just wanted to know what you wanted to order?"

Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she quickly muttered, "Uh... just um water please," before staring out the window again.

I'm really worried about Constance. Ever since I asked her that question about my dad, she's been more closed off than ever. She was so laidback before, I'm worried I broke her. I didn't even mean to set her off like this, I didn't even need to know that badly, I was just curious! I feel terrible. I've just messed her up like every other girl I've been with. What the hell is wrong with me?!

...

Constance's POV

Billie Joe really caught me off guard. Yes, it was a fair and justified question but I really hadn't considered at all how to answer it. When I went after him, I thought I'd be able to walk the line of being honest but not spilling everything to him, but I didn't consider just how sloppy I'd been in the beginning.

And I couldn't believe what a hypocrite I was. I had just told him that we wouldn't be keeping things from each other anymore, and then immediately he asks something INCREDIBLY REASONABLE considering my behaviour and I just close up.

If I make something up, he'd be able to see through it in a minute. Also, WHAT THE HELL WOULD I EVEN SAY?! How the hell do you explain to some kid you've never met and never come into any form of contact with in your life that you were aware his dad was dead within hours of meeting him without a single word about it beforehand?! God, he must think I somehow gave his dad cancer or something! Its not like I could say my american cousins told me, because HOW THE HELL WOULD THEY KNOW?!

And if I attempt to tell him the truth... that would be even worse. He'd think I'm completely insane, and up until this point, I haven't done that much to prove the contrary. He'd laugh at me, kick me out of his house, hell he'd probably call the police! Not that I could blame him at all for reacting that way because this entire situation IS FUCKING INSANE, THANK YOU EMRYS!

I kept thinking of what to do as Billie Joe, Mike and I continued to hang out over the coming days.

What they must've thought of me. I told him that I didn't want to be all standoffish anymore and here I am like a storm cloud in the corner while they try and have a good summer.

My head was right. This isn't some summer holiday fun, this is a dangerous failed mission. I am MIA and awaiting rescue, I'm not here to make friends or have a nice time or build connections. I need to get in and out and make as little of an impact as possible. And every day I spend with these people, I make the crater bigger.

I know what I have to do.

...

Billie Joe's POV

I was sitting up in my bed, thinking about how I'd make things right with Constance. It must've been a little after midnight when I heard the front door open and shut. I thought it must've been my mom getting home but then I didn't hear any sounds or see any light coming from downstairs.

Someone was leaving? Maybe Hollie or Anna had a date. At midnight though?

I then thought of something troubling, so I went downstairs and into the basement.

Mike was asleep and Constance...

Shit. Constance was gone. So was her bag.

I ran back upstairs and dashed right out the door. I ran down the dark streets barefoot until I reached the little park playground nearby. Under a lamplit swing set sat Constance.

I was relieved to see her and slowed down to walk up to her, but the moment she saw me, she got up and started running and trying to hide. It didn't take much to stop her though.

"Constance, please! Wait!," I called after her.

She slumped her head and leaned against a rusty pole, waiting for me to catch up.

I panted as I asked her, "What the hell are you doing? You scared the shit outta me."

She didn't move.

"Constance, please."

"Do you really want to know?"

"What?"

"Do you really want to know the truth?"