"If Not Us, Then Who?"

Healing Hearts Ahead

Good Morning Alexus, it's nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you as well . This is my fiance, Thaddeus."
Teak shook Dr. Thompson's hand as they followed her to the back room .
Dr. Thompson graduated from THE Clark University with a PHD in psychology. She's the most recommended relationship therapist in Jackson MS and Teak made sure to get an appointment with her for him and Lexy . Teak was ready to marry Lexy . He knew she was the woman for him. She held him down through everything, helped make him a better man and he knew in his heart this is supposed to be a forever love but her erratic behavior was worrisome to him and felt that it may not be a bad idea to seek out pre-marital conseling before making it official. Lexy was a little apprehensive. She was a therapist and found it odd for her to speak to someone in the same field as her but agreed knowing that it wouldn't hurt.

"Make yourselves comfortable." Dr Thompson said ushering them to the seats in the room.
"So what brings you all here and what are you looking to accomplish?"
Well, Lexy and I are engaged and are wanting to get married soon so I thought it would be a good idea to dot all our I's and cross our T's and I also think we could both benefit from speaking to someone else outside of ourselves regarding our personal issues. I'm hoping that we can continue to build on our relationship and live happily ever after as they say." Teak answered.
"Those are great observations and goals. What about you Lexy? What are you looking to accomplish?"
"Honestly , I'm not sure. As Thaddeus stated pre martial conseling may not be a bad idea but the personal issues, I assumed we had already addressed those. I'm a therapist so I feel I have good coping skills and strategies and I've helped him with some of his own issues so i'm not sure what he means by that."
"So you don't think.." Teak started before being interrupted by Dr. Thompson.
"Thaddeus you'll have a chance to speak, let me address Alexus."
" First, I want to thank you for being open to speaking with me. I know it could be difficult working with someone else in this industry but sometimes it's good to speak with someone with an unbias opinion, get a second set of eyes right?"
"Yes I can agree but you think I have personal issues to address?" Lexy asked turning toward Teak.
Teak eyed the therapist.
" Go ahead, let her know what's on your mind."
"I want to start by saying you're a great mother and partner. I've never felt so loved and wanted by anyone except you and our son. You've helped me grow and reach goals in life I never thought i'd reach or even thought about reaching but sometimes you act so erratic when there is an issue that involves me. I know you know how to properly handle these situations but you don't. It's like you turn into this different person . I don't know , maybe there is something deeper that needs to be addressed."
" So me addressing another woman about seeking out my man, a man she knows is unavailable  and interrupting our lives is a problem Thaddeus?"
"Its not you addressing her, it's how you handled it. Why did you fly off the handle like that? The last time we agreed we would handle the situation together but you went behind my back and did what you saw fit."
"Well you didn't do a good job the first time or she wouldn't have kept coming back! You obviously wasn't clear enough!" Alexus screamed.
"Okay, everyone calm down." Dr Thompson interrupted.
" Alexus, I can see you are getting upset and I dont want you to say anything to him you may regret later. Let's back up a little. How did you handle the situation?"
"Well the first time she came to MY office basically bragging to me how she's going to keep trying to pursue him like she didnt know we were together so we did get into a physical altercation. The second time I went to see her personally after she vandalized our home where our son lives. Yes we agreed to handle the situation together but he took his ass to sleep and all I could think about was her disrespecting me again so I couldn't wait for him to wake up from his beauty sleep to handle it."
"And how were you expecting him to initially handle the situation?
" I overheard him talking to one of our friends saying how she was touching him. He should've nipped it in bud then. He didn't initially react at first which is why she felt comfortable with re approaching him.  I know he didnt mean to but I felt disrespected. What if it happens again?"
"Thaddeus, is that how you initially reacted to the situation?"
"Well yes. I like to think about how to handle certain situations. I'd never put my hands on no woman so that was out. I guess Lexy is right. I should've emphasized that I am where I wanna be , instead of assuming she understood by me not engaging her on a personal level."
" Yes, sometimes you have to be very direct with some people for them to really receive the message you are conveying." Dr Thompson agreed.
"SEE!" Lexy chimed in.
"Alexus I want to come back to you though. Do you trust Thaddeus? Do you think he would purposely hurt or disrespect you and do you trust that he can handle situations even if they aren't the same way you would handle them?
"No I don't think he'd purposely hurt me . I trust him with my heart. Do I feel like he's a little passive in his decision making? Yes I do . I'd like him to be more assertive at times.
"I spent over 10 years in prison. I am not trying to go back . I already have a stigma attached to me that i'm still trying to shed. I'm a father, partner and businessman but some people still view me as a hood nigga, so i'm not trying to give anyone a reason to believe that I move like that anymore. Alexus has to understand we are a reflection of each other. If shes out here acting crazy for no reason, people will assume that I am the same way. Shit they might think she got it from me. Shes formally educated and has no record. Why would people expect that from her?"
"Okay lets talk all about this further." Dr. Thompson replied.
"Alexus, I'll circle back to you . Thaddeus acknowledging he could've handle that situation better is a great start right? He's concerned about your feelings, that should not be taken for granted. In return, you have to acknowledge his feelings about how you react. You said yourself that you trust him with you heart so know that his intentions are always pure. You have to allow him the opportunity to rectify decisions he's made that you didn't agree with, sometimes more than once and sometimes you have to allow him to make the decision and leave it at that but if you both agreed to handle something together you have to honor that. dishonoring that can cause trust issues in a relationship and you and I both know thats a recipe for disaster."
" Points were made." Lexy agreed reluctantly.
" Now Thaddeus. You have done a great job turning your life around and that should be celebrated. Stop living in the past and worrying about how others view you . You can do everything right from now until you die and someone will still see you in a negative light.  The only people you need to worry about how they feel about you is your son and that beautiful woman over there who you said held you down and loves you unconditionally. Sometimes people need that extra reassurance that you are truly there for them no matter what. Sometimes when you aren't as assertive it could be viewed as you don't care as much and if you don't care as much then you can easily give up or wander off to someone else. Words are important but what do your actions show?"
Dr. Thompson looked over to see Lexy with her head down.
"What's that? What are you thinking about ?"
Lexy sighed and begin to speak
" It's like I'm so scared to lose him. It scares me that I even feel that way about another person but that's just my feelings. He's everything I ever wanted and dreamed of. I had an extremely hard life growing up and lived in a household where no one showed love. Thaddeus and I have been through some things since we reconnected but yet this has been the easiest part of my life so far. I thought I'd never end up with someone who cares this much for me, makes sure I'm mentally okay, a great father to our son, takes care of the household and still makes sure to cater to me. You'd think after all the things he's been through it would be really hard for him to be this way with anyone and then I wake up everyday thinking I'm the one who he decided to love. I never felt this safe in my entire life so yes when someone is threatening that I get really defensive.."
Lexy stopped to catch her breath;
" "sniffs* I love him, he's my air. He makes me feel alive so if I lost him...."
The room was silent but no eyes in the room were dry. Dr. Thompson was usually good at keeping a poker face but she had never heard someone express their love for someone so clear, honest and eloquently .
Teak got up to sit on the sofa next to her and hugged her tightly and kissed her.
"Baby , the feeling is mutual. You have done so much for me and helped me open up in ways I never thought I would. I was really upset the other day but i'm never leaving your crazy, good pussy having ass. I'll work on making you feel more reassured. I should be glad someone is willing to go that hard behind me but you know we can't act like that everywhere we go . I'm committed to you as much as you are to me. Remember that."
"Alright yall , I think this was a great start. You guys are obviously comfortable being vulnerable in front of each other which is so important in a relationship . I hope yall can keep that going . Will I be seeing you two same time next week ?
"You sure will." Teak and Lexy replied in unison.
"See yall then!" Dr. Thompson replied closing the door behind them.