Hate yourself [mlm]

blood

[Mitchell's pov]

I wake up in my fucked up bed in my fucked up room in my fucked up house in the fucked up part of town..  I find myself staring up at the roof like an idiot..  I lift myself out from under the covers and sit on the edge of the bed for a good few seconds

oh god..  I'm thinking about Vince again

I slap the side of my head and push myself out of my room..  dad's home today,  so I'll try not to wake him..  I go to the bathroom and the lock the door behind me as I stare into my reflection in the cracked mirror..

dad wasn't too happy when I hit it..  but he didn't yell at me..  he never yells..  he just gets disappointed but never confronts me about it..  I love him but I find it hard to let him know that..  he took me in and how do I thank him?  I punch the mirror and ignore him all day..  I'm pathetic..

I grab my tooth brush and squeeze a line of toothpaste along the bristles,  I hesitate before I scrub the minted paste all over my teeth,  but it happens..  I scrub hard..  I scrub until my gums bleed..  I skipped brushing my teeth yesterday and this is my punishment..  bleeding gums..

I spit the blood into the sink and rinse my mouth

"I..  need to release some stress.."

I mumble to myself as I reach for the small blade I keep under the sink..

I stare at the scars lined up along my forearm..  wondering where I should strike this time.. 

...