In my Wildest Dreams

Chapter 3

I just stand there, staring at my surroundings and trying to take in every little detail. I never want to forget this experience. If I thought the arena looked big from the outside, it's nothing compared to the sight I was greeted with when I entered.​

My smile is wider than ever and I feel happy, happier than ever. I start walking to get to my seat and every step feels like a dream.

I'm a little scared, the arena is so big and there are so many people. It makes me feel so small.

But at the same time, it feels so good to know that I'm in a room with thousands of other people who are just like me. People who spend hours listening to Taylor's music and dreaming of someday meeting her or seeing her live.

And now that day has come for all of us in here. Finally it feels like I'm not alone. When I'm at home, it's just me and my loneliness. But here we all share a joy that can hardly be described. Is this what happiness really feels like?

That's when I turn around and my eyes widen in shock. I have managed to end up right in front of a VIP suite. And there, only about 20 meters behind me stands the mother of the kindest, cutest and most talented person in the whole world.

How on earth did i end up right in front of Andrea Swift?

And right when i thought it couldn't get any better, she turns around and sees me standing there staring at her like I'm some kind of freak.

I quickly look down at the ground, embarrassed by what just happened. But when I look up again, I see that she is just smiling at me and waving. I wave back and a giant smile forms on my face.

...

I let out a huge scream as a clock appears on the big screens, all around the stadium.

Time is ticking down and when it has reached the last ten seconds, everyone shouts out the numbers together.

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!

The lover house appears on the screen and I jump up and down on the spot trying hard not to freak out.

The dancers come out and I can't help but be captivated by the large leaf-like things they carry on their backs.

Of course I know what all the outfits looks like, and I know exactly what songs she's going to play (except for the surprise songs, of course), i know the whole show by heart. But this is so different from some blurry live stream. This is real.

I can feel my heart beat faster as they get closer and closer to the center of the stage. The place where Taylor will appear on stage.

I try to keep calm but I realize it's impossible. God why am I even trying to hold it in.

Then she appears. The woman who has kept me alive all these years. Every time I've been hurt, beaten or told off, she and her music has been there for me. Through all the screams and all the tears. She has been there for me through everything. Always.

And now i'm standing here. At her concert to see her perform live. Tears flow like rivers from my eyes and I scream at the top of my lungs. This is the moment I've been waiting for my whole life, and I don't ever want it to pass.

...

I'm glad I don't own any makeup, because if I did, it would be smeared all over my face by now. I think I've cried all the liquid out of my entire body, but it just keeps pouring out and it's only the end of the lover set.

I scream out every lyric, knowing I will have lost my voice by the end of the concert. But I don't fucking care, why would I?

I scream, cry and dance through the whole lover set and the fearless set.

But it's when we get to Evermore and I hear those first notes to Willow when I actually lose it all.

The notes that I have memorized in my head, the notes that I could play on a piano even though my musical talent is at zero, the notes that have given me security, the ones that I have listened to when I feel scared or sad, the ones that have helped me through so much.

It's those notes that make me lose my mind.

i know know that Willow probably is the most well known song from evermore, and i know a lot of swifties would make fun of me for keeping it as my favorite, even though i have gone through the "new fan period".

But this song means so much to me. I feel safe every time i hear Taylor singing my name, and I will never, ever stop loving that song.

I scream so loud that i feel like my my vocal chords could break any second.

I'm like the water when your ship rolled in that night

Rough on the surface, but you cut through like a knife

And if it was an open-shut case

I never would've known from the look on your face

Those lyrics felt like home. And when I meanhome I don't mean the dirty little apartment, with the drunk and abusive man. No, I mean that feeling that makes you feel like you are safe. As if you are at home. It's the feeling that only Taylor can make me feel. The feeling I feel at this very moment

Live was a willow, and it bent right to your wind.

Hearing Taylor sing those words, sing my name fills me with so much joy. Never in my entire life have I felt that kind of joy before, and I don't think I ever will again.

I cried. I cried for hours. I cried through the rest of the evermore set, i cried through trough reputation, i cried through a lot of songs. But those where happy tears. Those where not the kind of tears i use to cry when i get hit, or when I get told that I'm just a mistake that no one want's. Those where tears filled of happiness and joy, and i gladly cried them for hours.

...

And long, long live that look on your face

And bring on all the pretenders

One day

We will be remembered

I scream out the last words of Long Live, just like I've screamed the lyrics to all the other songs before.

But this time I am abruptly interrupted in my crying by a security guard gently tapping me on the shoulder.

"Excuse me," he says kindly

My first thought is immediately that I have done something stupid, and that I will be pushed out from the arena in just a few minutes.

But he's acting in a nice way, and it makes me wonder if maybe he's not here to tell me to leave.

"Hello" I say carefully

That's when I realize what's about to happen.

This cannot be true. I must be dreaming. But when I try to pinch myself in the arm to see if I will wake up in my old, dirty bed in the small apartment, nothing happens.

Speak now just ended and it's time for Red. And the first song she's going to sing is...22...​​

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Authors note:

Hi! I haven't posted in a few days, and I know that this chapter is kinda messy, but I hope you like it! 😊