𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗦 ,, misc

[9] : bf problem ??

[12/14-15/23] — idk what to name it so, i'll stick with this, 'bf wants me to move in with him'

so i had a boyfriend in 7-8 grade i can't remember when we first started going out but then he had to move durning the last few months of freshman year or in the summer between freshman and sophomore year, lol. all bc his dad had gotten a job in another state, so he went and left me behind. we were still dating tho for a while but then his mom, made him get a gf over there so we broke up.

his new girl wasn't as pretty but she seemed cool & she treated him nicely so i didn't hate her, lmao. they're apparently still friends, i think to this day but idk.

but back to the story at hand, he still basically loved me through everything, which would you call that cheating ?? idk lol. but so we got back together a while after they broke up, idk why they did but yeah, so then we dated again for a while then i think we broke up again idk when and why.

but he still loved me. i dated a few guys since then and yet, he still loved me. i loved a few of my bf's. i still have good friendships with almost all my ex's 💀 (don't laugh) but like two of them, i don't talk to anymore. which is fine cause bleh, they suck!!!!

but i'm like close friends with a few of them, even now lol. we're all depressed beings lmao, but yeah. most likely why we broke up but i still love and support them! as they do me! (i hope, lmao)

but back to the point, he's been telling me he'll move back to CO (a few of those years inbetween now and probably 2017?) to be with me but he never has :( (he went to the army national guard for 4 years (after he graduated high school) which is scary in itself but he's alive!!!) but now he's saying that i go over to his state and live with him and his mom and her bf. his state is so far away from mine. like not a neighboring state, like 2 time zones away 😣 but i've been wanting to move out of this house and away from my parents (& brother) but mainly my parents.

i also haven't flown by myself ever so 🫣😬

they're so annoying!!! my dad treats me like i'm a teen still or something and he acts like a child sometimes and it just gets so irritating at times.

i love them both so deeply but i have to grow up sometime, yk? they have to let me go sooner or later too. especially my dad, omg!
my dad is another story 🙄. i'll definitely miss my mom and my two cats the most tho, if i do move out to his state.

my dad has been making our basement into a little apartment for me but it's taking him so long!! he should be further along at this point! he should potentially have about half of it done by now, i believe bc i can't exactly remember when he started, lmao. ugh! so i'm like was so excited for it and everything but it's taking him so long to complete, i've lost my excitement for it ☹️ but it's wtv!

so the point of this is, idk what i should do?!
do i go live with him & his family or stay here?? (depending on if my parents let me)

like i rlly want to but it's far & i'll miss my mom the most then some of my extended family & my cats. but the good part would be, i wouldn't feel so anxious all the damn time around my dad, and have to turn my phone in at night 🙄. another stupid thing i gotta do even tho i'm 21+ (even 18+, smh) i don't even remember why i have to turn it in anymore & when this started so yeah. i try not to tell many ppl that bc it's embarrassing & i hate it so, don't judge me for that.

but do y'all see my damn dilemma, lmao 😭

idk what else to say in the matter so i'll probably update this chapter once i get more news, idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀 : i feel like they'll probably say no, bc they'll also miss me too. but like idk 🤷🏻‍♀️😭 & it's also very far, & we don't have a bunch of money so they wouldn't be able to come visit as much as they'd want to. same as me so ugh!!!! the struggle lol!!

AUTHORS NOTE |
OOPS I FORGOT TO POST THIS 😭 posting it now; 3/9/24

— n