Rich Intentions

1• Roommate

 
  
 
That Bitch ate my Jerk chicken!

That was my breaking point.

The deal of having a roommate comes on the contract of this particular apartment building. It's a must as our jobs gave us a place to live that is in close proximity to work.

We're far from home for heaven's sake. They don't want us getting lost, yet they wants us to keep track of us as well.

It's by choice that we take this, otherwise we find and rent somewhere that would cost an arm and a leg.

There is ground security, but rules and regulations to promote the care and safety of the residence and of the building itself.

For me, being a Jamaican is one red flag and the next is being a black woman.

Then I wonder why this Caucasian female had thought my warning were like baby talk, because I look so small, innocent and appears sweet.

Looks can be deceiving and she found that out the hard way.

#1 Rule: Don't touch my things, DO NOT TOUCH MY FOOD!

She took my left overs to her job.

She drank my sorrel beer.

She stole my oxtail.

I came home and saw her eating what's left of my jerk chicken on the aluminum foil.

#2 Rule: No excessive noises after ten PM.

She kept a little party while I was getting my beauty rest.

The list is so long, like the countless times I picture myself plucking her dry bleached blond hair out.

She needed to trim her split ends anyways.

Then if I do that, I'll be labeled as a mad black woman while getting charged for assault.

She ate my damn Jerk chicken.

It took me two weeks to locate a good Caribbean spot and the chef fell in love with me instantly.

I got extra chicken but decided to leave majority of it for the next day as I'm always hungry after work.

I wrapped the foil in a brown paper bag, then a clear wrapping paper, then a white bag, then a baking sheet, then a recycled bread bag.

Suh much wrapping and shi still a search hard.

I kept it in my area of the fridge, the bottom. The back left hand corner to be precise.

An as a Jamaican, wih naw put butter a puss mouth directly. Mih go need the butter with dumpling when nothing naw gwaan.

So I know I had to get rid of this cat, seeing as she got curious and satisfaction always bring her back snooping, stealing or using my things.

I added bleach to my old laundry detergent containers.

Made a chocolate coated soap popsicle and she bites into it.

She is lactose intolerant and I filled every dessert I have with milk or cheese, so much that she had to live in the bathroom for hours.

I found out she is allergic to tin food and I filled my side of the cupboard with them. So I made use of the condensed milk so much that I transferred it to my milk jug and added water.

She drank it all and got sick.

I've never missed work, and I know it's about time before she loses her own.

She doesn't even wash her own dishes and they got a dishwasher here.

I grew up poor and I had never thought of using that thing when I moved here because of how she overworked it. She has dishes there and in the sink as well.