Constantinople's Cherry

II - 9. Kim suçlu ?

Late Septembre 1945, train from Mardin to Istanbul.

Kiraz blinked and woke to the moving train as the first rays of sunshine lit the valley full of fields it was passing through.

Turkey was beautiful, but her heart couldn't seem to appreciate it's beauty without hating it and being absolutely disgusted by what it did to her people.
Perhaps, just on the image of how she saw Eda Yıldız.

She rubbed her eyes, she had fallen asleep after reading few letters the previous night. Thoughts filling her mind. How had her parents found themselves again ? What had happened to her father during the genocide, how did he survive it ? Most of it happened in 1915 to 1917.

And Eda Yıldız, where did she stand on all this ? Why did she abandon her daughter ?

She yawned, her fuzzy mind almost hurting and washed her face and got dressed. She opened her cabin window and sat down, taking the next letter in chronological order in her hands.

16 Decembre 1921

"Sweet Eda, my love,

It's Christmas time in Paris. The country is back on its feet from the war. Big lights are all over the avenues. People bustle along Places and boulevards. Candles are everywhere. People are happy, finally, after years of war and a couple of year it took for the economy to rise from its ruins.

It makes me a bit melancolic, our town had beautiful Christmas traditions too, I recall, even your Babanne and many Turks used to join us in the town and participate when I was small.

It's those little traditions I miss, that even the biggest of lights and trees in the most beautiful avenues and Places of the world in Paris can't fill.

I still fail to understand what happened to our beautiful country when I recall Christmas. I don't know how it was in Constantinople, but in town, people were happy and ate from the same plates, drank the same water, their children played together.

When did your people started hating mine so much to the point of that cruel outcome ? I will never know. Just like I will probably never know what happened to our town, to the home of my childhood, to the belongings of my parents.

I am not writing these to burden you, love, I just feel the need to talk about these things. The Armenians here are lovely, but they're not you. I miss you, I miss talking to you. I miss dancing with you, we danced so beautifully didn't we ?

I wish we can spend our next Christmas together. I want to share that part of my life with you too. Everything I ever associated with the holiday has been taken from me. I wish to replace it all with memories with you. All I want for Christmas now, is you.

I hope you're well, and I hope, aside from your little passtimes, that you study a little too Eda Yıldız, I'll take classes of you when I am back.

I have a little money saved up for Christmas gifts, but almost no family left to buy gifts for.

So I'll get something for you, maybe a dress, or your prences self wouldn't like my pick ? Maybe a corset, that you can wear in our private time, you're gorgeous, all of you. I miss loving you.

Don't forget to wear scarfs, you catch cold in autumn, I can't imagine now. Is it cold in Constantinople ? It's a very cold winter in Paris, I miss cuddling with you, you were the warmth to my heart.

I am doing all my possible to be back in Constantinople soon, I hope I have a date next time I write to you. I miss you a lot. I love you so much.