A Song of War

seven

si vis pacem, para bellum 

If you want peace, prepare for the war

*       *       *

When I finally get the strength to open my eyes, I am met with a familiar face.

"Heidi," my voice is barely a whisper. She doesn't hear me and still has her head down on the bed. I realize that she is sleeping.

I try to move my arm to touch her, but it doesn't work. I'm already tired. I'm too weak.

My eyes are fighting so hard to stay open after being in the dark for so long.

But I lost.

*     *     *

The rhythmic beating that has been my companion for as long as I can remember is the first thing I hear.

I open my eyes, my vision bleary.

I feel a hand touch my forehead, a soft whisper of hello.

I'm wondering how I am alive. How I was able to open my eyes again. I can't find the energy to look around me.

I can't find the energy to even care.

Nothing comes to my mind but then- I see a flash of scales. The whispered sound of wings brushing together.

I feel fire on my skin, and fire in my lungs. I can't breathe and I want to scream at my dragon, at how much pain he is putting me in. I felt betrayal stabbing me. He said he would protect me, but instead he set my body in flames.

Shouts are all around the room. Make it stop, make it stop. I want them to tell the dragon to stop, but the dragon is gone, morphed into a man. A man who stands tall and proud, dark hair and angry eyes. His body is built for battle and I know it's the real Ares, coming to fight me and take away my title. Coming to tell me that I am an imposter and not fit for my name.

I expect him to hit. To lash out.

But he comes closer, his eyes full of tears.

Make the pain stop. Make the pain stop.

I think he can hear my tortured thoughts.

As he comes to stand on the side of my bed, I see how beautiful he truly is. Images swirl and cling to his skin, a dragon painted on his chest, sitting on his shoulder, wrapping around his whole body.

He leans towards me, until his hands are holding my face, eyes of the night sky staring into my soul.

Ares, I plead to the God of war, Let my days of battle come to an end.

His lips touch my eyelids, closing my vision, but at the same time, making the pain finally go away.

*       *       *

I know time is passing. It's almost like a clock has been built in my head, the sound vibrating through my skull of each tick as another minute is gone.

The sound makes my head ache, and my body shiver. I'm cold. I'm cold.

Ares, I hear my name. I think it's mama. I think mama is holding my hand.

Fight, she whispers in my ear.

I've done nothing but fight since the day I drew my first breath. War shatters people, and my battle is not even over yet.